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Unlock Your Potential: The Ultimate Guide To Self-Exploration
00:00:00 The Art of Self-Therapy
00:02:59 Chapter 1 - What It Means to Master Self-Exploration
00:05:27 Beginner Strategies - Make Self-Exploration a Habit
00:07:20 Tom Stevens’ Six-Step Self-Exploration Process
The Art of Self-Therapy: How to Grow, Gain Self-Awareness, and Understand Your Emotions (The Path to Calm Book 8) By: Nick Trenton
Hear it Here - https://adbl.co/3wf46tU
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0B6TC4YMT
Self-awareness, healing yourself, and understanding your traumas. You don't need a therapist.
At least, not to start the process. Knowing yourself is one of the most difficult things in the world, and don't let access or funds stop your journey to yourself.
Learn about why you do the things you do, and why you think the way you think. It's not always so simple.
The Art of Self-Therapy is a book that introduces you to yourself. We all have unique beliefs and thought patterns that influence our behavior. Are you happy with all of the outcomes your thoughts, beliefs, and behaviors create for you? Or do you frequently feel unstable, confused, lost, or out of control?
Therapy is a tough task for most. It can be expensive, scary, or socially unacceptable. But this is a process you can start for yourself. Time to start the rest of your life.
Think exactly what you want to think, and do only what you want to do. This is the wonderful outcome of knowing yourself.
Nick Trenton grew up in rural Illinois and is quite literally a farm boy. His best friend growing up was his trusty companion Leonard the dachshund. RIP Leonard. Eventually, he made it off the farm and obtained a BS in Economics, followed by an MA in Behavioral Psychology.
Become the most predictable person in the world - this means stability, calm, and acceptance.
Your shadow side and how it shows you exactly what your traumas are about
Understanding your inner child and how they are trapped inside of you
Knowing the attachment style that dictates your adult relationships
How to re-program your thoughts to have healthier coping mechanisms
Analyzing your thoughts and rewiring your beliefs
How to build your life one small step at a time with behavioral experiments
#GainSelfAwareness #NickTrenton #Selfawareness #Selftherapy #UnderstandYourEmotions #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #TheArtofSelf-Therapy #UnlockYourPotential: #TheUltimateGuideToSelf-Exploration
Transcript
The Art of Self-Therapy:
Speaker:How to Grow,
Speaker:Gain Self-Awareness,
Speaker:and Understand Your Emotions (The Path to Calm Book 8)
Speaker:Written by
Speaker:Nick Trenton, narrated by russell newton.
Speaker:Therapy is a wonderful thing.
Speaker:A trained mental health professional can help you explore psychological blind
Speaker:spots,
Speaker:set goals,
Speaker:and work with you through tricky thought patterns so you can gently change them.
Speaker:But what if you don’t want therapy,
Speaker:or can’t access it?| “Self-therapy” is a way to recreate some of the
Speaker:benefits of conventional therapy,
Speaker:but on your own terms.
Speaker:This book is all about giving you the tools you need to gain better
Speaker:self-awareness,
Speaker:build emotional maturity,
Speaker:and learn to change your behavior so that you can start creating the kind of
Speaker:life you want for yourself.
Speaker:The tools we’ll explore in the chapters that follow are the very same ones
Speaker:used by cognitive behavioral therapists,
Speaker:counselors,
Speaker:and psychologists the world over.
Speaker:By adapting them for your own use,
Speaker:you can start cultivating more contentment with who you are,
Speaker:challenge limiting thought patterns,
Speaker:and zoom out to gain a broader view of the narratives on which your life is
Speaker:structured.
Speaker:From there,
Speaker:you can consciously choose what you want for your life,
Speaker:rather than passively being at the mercy of these forces.
Speaker:In the pages that follow,
Speaker:we’ll start at the very beginning - your deepest self.
Speaker:In Part 1,
Speaker:we’ll look at helpful techniques and mindset shifts that will help you master
Speaker:self-exploration and gain deeper awareness into how you actually tick.
Speaker:Then,
Speaker:in Part 2,
Speaker:we’ll take a look into the past and investigate how your family and early
Speaker:experiences shaped who you are today.
Speaker:After all,
Speaker:if you want to rewrite the story of your life,
Speaker:you need to understand the story as it is so far,
Speaker:and how it got that way.
Speaker:In Part 3,
Speaker:we shift our attention to the cognitive manifestations of our core beliefs and
Speaker:inner emotional realities - our thoughts.
Speaker:Using evidence-based cognitive behavioral techniques,
Speaker:we’ll look at our thought processes and take charge of them,
Speaker:asking whether they’re genuinely helping us achieve the kind of life we want.
Speaker:Finally,
Speaker:once all this groundwork has been laid,
Speaker:we can dive into the practical work of Part 4,
Speaker:where we explore ways to start taking action and changing our behavior in the
Speaker:world day after day.
Speaker:Self-therapy isn’t learned overnight,
Speaker:and it can be challenging at times,
Speaker:but rest assured that no matter where you are now or where you want to be,
Speaker:these techniques will bring improvements to your life.
Speaker:Whether you are looking for more direction and purpose,
Speaker:want to improve your relationships,
Speaker:or simply need to get a handle on who you are and what you really want in life,
Speaker:there’s something in this book for you.
Speaker:Let’s jump in.
Speaker:Chapter 1 - What It Means to Master Self-Exploration What you’ll learn
Speaker:in this chapter - why and how to improve your self-awareness,
Speaker:as well as a six-part process for learning more about what makes you tick.
Speaker:Here’s a good question to begin with - WHO ARE YOU?
Speaker:According to Psychologist Dr. Tom Stevens,
Speaker:mastering self-exploration can provide us with a sophisticated,
Speaker:nuanced answer to this question.
Speaker:But we cannot answer that question until we have something crucial -
Speaker:self-awareness.
Speaker:Too many people go through life on autopilot or in a kind of distracted haze.
Speaker:They are not really sure what they feel,
Speaker:what they want,
Speaker:or who they are.
Speaker:They are unclear about their values,
Speaker:have fuzzy boundaries,
Speaker:or have never really stopped to consider why they behave as they do.
Speaker:If you’ve ever asked yourself ... “Why do I do that?"
Speaker:“What do I really want?” or “Why am I unhappy?"
Speaker:then chances are you can benefit from more self-exploration.
Speaker:When you have explored yourself in enough depth,
Speaker:you can identify who you are as a person (both strengths and weaknesses),
Speaker:take responsibility for what you need,
Speaker:and then make informed decisions about the choices you want to make in your
Speaker:life.
Speaker:If you embark on any plan for personal development without self-awareness,
Speaker:though,
Speaker:you are merely going through the motions.
Speaker:Perhaps you end up doing what you think you “should” be doing,
Speaker:or substitute other people’s desires and values for your own.
Speaker:Not only does self-awareness make you happier,
Speaker:more resilient,
Speaker:and more accepting of who you are,
Speaker:it also allows you to live authentically and create a life that is right for
Speaker:you.
Speaker:So what exactly is self-exploration?
Speaker:According to Ryan Howes,
Speaker:Doctor of Philosophy,
Speaker:psychologist,
Speaker:writer,
Speaker:and professor in Pasadena,
Speaker:California,
Speaker:it involves “taking a look at your own thoughts,
Speaker:feelings,
Speaker:behaviors,
Speaker:and motivations and asking why.
Speaker:It’s looking for the roots of who we are."
Speaker:The idea is that if you can understand why you do something,
Speaker:you empower yourself to do something different.
Speaker:If you don’t truly understand what is going on in your heart and mind,
Speaker:you only have a dim hope of fulfilling your potential,
Speaker:overcoming obstacles,
Speaker:or connecting fully with others in your relationships.
Speaker:Beginner Strategies - Make Self-Exploration a Habit Self-awareness is like
Speaker:exercise—the more you practice,
Speaker:the better you become!
Speaker:The best way to gain more self-awareness is to build it into your life as a
Speaker:regular,
Speaker:consistent habit.
Speaker:This can be as simple as asking yourself,
Speaker:whenever you remember,
Speaker:“What do I notice about myself right now?"
Speaker:Simply pause,
Speaker:become aware,
Speaker:and be with yourself for a moment.
Speaker:Try just ten minutes to start (what about trying right now,
Speaker:as you read this book?).
Speaker:Notice if you get distracted and your mind wanders.
Speaker:Notice what you’re feeling and where that experience sits in your body.
Speaker:Notice the thoughts in your mind.
Speaker:Notice what you’re doing.
Speaker:Notice what came just before.
Speaker:Even notice thoughts like,
Speaker:“I’m bored.
Speaker:Am I doing it right?"
Speaker:Unplug and check in with yourself.
Speaker:Importantly,
Speaker:you don’t have to do anything about what you notice.
Speaker:You don’t have to judge,
Speaker:interpret,
Speaker:cling to,
Speaker:avoid,
Speaker:or analyze what you notice.
Speaker:Just notice.
Speaker:For example,
Speaker:you might be having a shower and suddenly notice that you’re in a really bad
Speaker:mood.
Speaker:Why?
Speaker:You pause and decide to become aware for a moment.
Speaker:You sit somewhere quietly and notice that you’re annoyed.
Speaker:You notice your thoughts and how they’re rushing ahead to an imagined future
Speaker:encounter at work.
Speaker:You realize you were rehearsing a hypothetical argument in your mind.
Speaker:You notice how you’re actually scowling a little,
Speaker:your jaw is tense,
Speaker:and you’re not paying much attention to anything else.
Speaker:Without awareness,
Speaker:none of this would have been noticed.
Speaker:Let’s take a closer look.
Speaker:Tom Stevens’ Six-Step Self-Exploration Process Once you’ve gained some
Speaker:practice with the above exercise,
Speaker:you can challenge yourself to go further and follow Dr. Stevens’ six-step
Speaker:approach for digging a little deeper.
Speaker:Step 1 - Switch on Your “Inner Noticer” As we did in the previous exercise,
Speaker:just get into the habit of observing yourself neutrally and without
Speaker:judgment—like a scientist taking a step back and recording data from afar.
Speaker:See if you can notice thoughts,
Speaker:feelings,
Speaker:physical sensations,
Speaker:and actions—and the difference between them.
Speaker:Example - You notice your bad mood in the shower,
Speaker:your tense jaw muscles,
Speaker:and the mini argument you seem to be holding in your head.
Speaker:Step 2 - Notice Any Problematic Situations?
Speaker:This step may happen automatically,
Speaker:but see if any patterns begin to emerge.
Speaker:What is the “problem” exactly?
Speaker:When did it start?
Speaker:What came before it?
Speaker:Does this sequence of events usually happen this way?
Speaker:What typically comes after this experience?
Speaker:What is going on in your environment when this happens?
Speaker:Example - You realize,
Speaker:with repeated moments of awareness,
Speaker:that you actually feel this way most mornings,
Speaker:during most showers.
Speaker:You realize this may be a problem for you and is setting the day off on the
Speaker:wrong foot.
Speaker:You look more closely at yourself for a few days and notice that you don’t
Speaker:wake up irritable,
Speaker:but seem to feel that way only after your mind wanders in the shower and starts
Speaker:to entertain certain thoughts and “predictions."
Speaker:Step 3 - Notice the Strongest Emotions and Where They Lead Notice not only what
Speaker:you feel but the intensity of those feelings.
Speaker:There may be some emotions that you become aware of that you are actually quite
Speaker:uncomfortable with.
Speaker:If you can notice that you are trying to resist or avoid them,
Speaker:see if you can keep maintaining awareness anyway.
Speaker:In fact,
Speaker:become most curious about the strongest,
Speaker:most difficult,
Speaker:or most uncomfortable emotions.
Speaker:Keep asking more questions of this emotion—what came before?
Speaker:What happened next?
Speaker:Example - The strongest emotion,
Speaker:even though you try to avoid it,
Speaker:turns out to be anger.
Speaker:You say you’re annoyed and find yourself blaming random occurrences that come
Speaker:after your shower,
Speaker:but the more awareness you bring to the situation,
Speaker:the more you see that you are in fact very angry at something.
Speaker:What?
Speaker:This is difficult to admit because you don’t consider yourself an angry
Speaker:person.
Speaker:But you keep being aware.
Speaker:Step 4 - Try to Notice Any Emerging Connections Now’s the time to really put
Speaker:on your scientist cap and bravely investigate those strong feelings,
Speaker:rather than avoid or deny them.
Speaker:What images,
Speaker:ideas,
Speaker:thoughts,
Speaker:or memories seem to most often be connected with the strong emotion?
Speaker:What strengthens these emotions and what seems to make them fade?
Speaker:Can you connect this experience or emotion with something similar in the past?
Speaker:If there are many situations that produce this emotion,
Speaker:what do those situations have in common?
Speaker:What connects them?
Speaker:Example - You are aware that you keep rehearsing imaginary conversations in
Speaker:your mind,
Speaker:where you envision your work colleagues are criticizing you,
Speaker:and you are angrily defending yourself,
Speaker:as well as venting off a long list of hidden resentments of your own.
Speaker:In these conversations,
Speaker:you find yourself saying things like,
Speaker:“Oh,
Speaker:so I suppose you think you’re perfect,
Speaker:then?” and,
Speaker:“If you’re such an expert,
Speaker:then why do you pay me to do it for you,
Speaker:huh?"
Speaker:In time,
Speaker:you notice that this reminds you of something very interesting - the way you
Speaker:feel is very similar to arguments you used to have with your father growing up,
Speaker:where he would criticize your work no matter how hard you tried.
Speaker:Step 5 - What is the underlying core belief,
Speaker:value,
Speaker:or theme behind this emotion?
Speaker:Keep going and you should eventually uncover the bigger picture that connects
Speaker:everything together—thought,
Speaker:feelings,
Speaker:behavior.
Speaker:The magic of self-awareness is this ability to see the overarching patterns and
Speaker:themes that are playing out in your life.
Speaker:You’ve become aware of all the surface details;
Speaker:now,
Speaker:what is the bigger underlying theme that brings them all together?
Speaker:In what ways are all the separate issues you’re experiencing alike?
Speaker:Example - You realize that the bigger picture is that you’re feeling insecure
Speaker:about your performance at work and are assuming that people are judging you.
Speaker:You play out imaginary conversations in your own mind,
Speaker:but this is not an accurate reflection of what is actually happening in your
Speaker:workplace right now,
Speaker:but an echo of something from your deeper childhood.
Speaker:Step 6 - Use Your Insights to Identify Your Boundaries,
Speaker:Then Take Control Self-awareness is not just something we do for the sake of it.
Speaker:It’s something we develop and then put to use.
Speaker:Once you’ve gained greater insight into your problem,
Speaker:there’s one of two ways forward - 1.
Speaker:Identify the external cause of the problem and take responsibility for acting,
Speaker:given what we know 2.
Speaker:Identify the inner cause of the problem (i.e.,
Speaker:us!)
Speaker:and take responsibility for that,
Speaker:whether that means changing our thoughts,
Speaker:emotions,
Speaker:or behaviors.
Speaker:As you can see,
Speaker:in both options,
Speaker:we need to own up to our portion of the problem and take responsibility for
Speaker:acting in our own best interests.
Speaker:After all,
Speaker:self-awareness that doesn’t lead to any concrete changes in the real world is
Speaker:not much more than navel-gazing!
Speaker:Example - You ask yourself honestly if there’s any objective reason to
Speaker:believe that people are critical of you at work.
Speaker:When you’re content there aren’t,
Speaker:you deliberately choose to become aware any time you catch yourself getting
Speaker:stuck in imaginary “replay” conversations.
Speaker:Then,
Speaker:you rehearse a mantra - “I’m competent and capable,
Speaker:and I’m doing the best I can.
Speaker:I am proud of myself."
Speaker:Now,
Speaker:the above example may seem insignificant on the surface,
Speaker:but imagine if such a problem was allowed to run its course without ever being
Speaker:revealed by the light of awareness.
Speaker:You may have gotten out of the shower every single morning in a bad mood,
Speaker:never really knowing why.
Speaker:Maybe one day you went into work feeling grumpy and sensitive and snapped at a
Speaker:colleague,
Speaker:assuming they were being rude.
Speaker:This could set off a whole cascade of negative outcomes—all of which could be
Speaker:avoided if you knew yourself better.
Speaker:On the other hand,
Speaker:while this is happening,
Speaker:other things are not happening - You are not giving yourself the opportunity to
Speaker:fix the real problem,
Speaker:which is the unresolved issues you have with your father and with your own
Speaker:sense of self-worth.
Speaker:Maybe you even assume the problem is that you feel angry “for no reason,”
Speaker:so you start trying to solve the problem in all the wrong ways—i.e.,
Speaker:reading a self-help book about anger or taking up Tai Chi.
Speaker:These things are great,
Speaker:but they probably won’t work because they are not addressing the real root of
Speaker:your problem,
Speaker:which is more accurately low self-esteem.
Speaker:This is why it’s so important to start with awareness and self-exploration as
Speaker:the first step.
Speaker:Becoming aware is a simple,
Speaker:free,
Speaker:and easy thing that any of us can do right now,
Speaker:in this moment.
Speaker:As our example shows,
Speaker:what started out as simply curiosity and awareness of the most ordinary daily
Speaker:activities can yield valuable insight into who you are as a person.
Speaker:All that’s needed is time,
Speaker:patience,
Speaker:and the willingness to know ourselves better.
Speaker:In the chapters that follow,
Speaker:we’ll be taking this foundation of self-exploration and awareness and
Speaker:building on it as we go.
Speaker:This has been
Speaker:The Art of Self-Therapy:
Speaker:How to Grow,
Speaker:Gain Self-Awareness,
Speaker:and Understand Your Emotions (The Path to Calm Book 8) Written by
Speaker:Nick Trenton, narrated by russell newton.
