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A Simple Strategy to Transform Negative Thinking - Based on the Book Anti-Anxious
Are you tired of being controlled by your anxious thoughts?
Hear it Here - https://adbl.co/3v0o8uB
Want to transform negative thinking into a positive, fulfilling
narrative? In this video, we'll explore two powerful steps based on the book "Anti-Anxious" by Nick Trenton that can help you take
control of your mind and rewrite your life story.
First, we'll dive into the power of keeping a thought journal. By using the ABCDE acronym (Activating Event, Belief, Consequence,
Disputation, and New Event), you'll learn how to explore the stories you're telling yourself and decide whether they're accurate,
helpful, and aligned with your values.
Next, we'll discuss the "Rethink and Redo" strategy. Once you've identified your current thoughts, ask yourself if there's a different
way to think about things. How can you bring that new idea to life with concrete action? Seek out evidence for your new belief,
practice self-compassion, and go into learning mode by asking questions instead of making statements.
Join us as we share practical tips and insights from "Anti-Anxious" to help you break free from negative thought patterns and create a
life filled with peace, purpose, and positivity. Get ready to rewrite your story and embrace the power of a transformed mindset!
Don't forget to check out the book "Anti-Anxious: How to Control Your Thoughts, Stop Overthinking, and Transform Your Mental Habits (The Path to Calm Book 14)" for even more valuable insights - available now on Amazon.
Visit https://adbl.co/3v0o8uB to get your copy today!
Transcript
Hello Listeners, it's March 24th, 2025!
Speaker:Russell here on the Path to Calm podcast.
Speaker:Today's episode is all about our book: Anti-Anxious by Nick Trenton.
Speaker:Our motto this week?
Speaker:Stop overthinking and become present - find peace within yourself.
Speaker:Nick shares his personal experiences of dealing with anxiety, including sleepless nights, constant worrying, feeling like a sensitive person who can't handle things, self-doubt and no sense of value in life.
Speaker:However, Nick also shows us that we have the power to transform our negative thoughts into empowering ones by learning how to control them better through various tools he shares with his readers.
Speaker:In this episode, I will be diving deep into two essential steps highlighted in Anti-Anxious: Keep a Thought Journal; and Rethink and Redo our thought patterns by adopting Nick's approach to reframing them with compassionate self-acceptance.
Speaker:The book can be found on Amazon, the audiobook is available in major digital stores like iTunes and Audible, or you can visit Nick Trenton’s website via Bitly (NickTrenton).
Speaker:Listeners have shared that Anti-Anxious has been a game-changer for them.
Speaker:If you're tired of letting your wayward thoughts dictate how you live every day - pick up this book and embark on the journey towards empowerment, self-love, mindfulness, acceptance while transforming from being overwhelmed by negative thought patterns to creating a fulfilling narrative for yourself.
Speaker:We’ve explored the idea of reframing thoughts, and began to identify cognitive distortions as well as gently challenge them as they emerge.
Speaker:It’s important that we have these fundamental paradigm shifts in place first; otherwise, we will merely be working within our negative mindset, not working on our negative mindset.
Speaker:As Einstein famously said, “We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them."
Speaker:In this chapter, we’ll look more closely at a concrete technique for slowing right down and rewriting the very programming that our negative thinking runs on.
Speaker:But first, let’s look at the insights gathered by the founder of cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), Albert Ellis.
Speaker:In his work, he couldn’t help but notice that different people seemed to respond very differently to similar events.
Speaker:Why?
Speaker:The events themselves didn’t explain the difference—it must be the thoughts, feelings, and beliefs of the people who were interpreting these events.
Speaker:Over the years, Ellis came to the same conclusion that Shakespeare arguably did in Hamlet when he said, “There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.”
Speaker:Thoughts, feelings, and actions are all connected and work together to create your response to external events.
Speaker:The ABC method, inspired by this understanding, helps us tease apart the different elements:
Speaker:A is for activating event.
Speaker:This is neutral in the sense that it only takes on meaning and value according to our response to it.
Speaker:B is for beliefs.
Speaker:How we respond internally to the event.
Speaker:C is for consequence.
Speaker:Importantly, the outcome (consequence) is not a direct result of the event, but of our interpretation of the event.
Speaker:The event is always neutral.
Speaker:You can see where this is going: If we want to change our lives, we shouldn’t start with A, the external events, but B, how we think about the events these events come from.
Speaker:The way that each of us responds to Event A is wholly a matter of conditioned response and association.
Speaker:To put it simply, we’ve learned to respond to activating events in very particular ways.
Speaker:Again, these associations are neutral.
Speaker:It’s the resulting consequences that make the difference.
Speaker:If we find that our conditioned responses are continually undermining our effectiveness and wellbeing, then we can take action to adjust things—noting, of course, that the adjustment has to happen with the relationship between A and B, and not at C, which is really just a symptom of our conditioning and not the problem itself.
Speaker:In CBT, the goal is to make adaptive changes, so two new letters are added:
Speaker:D is for disputation.
Speaker:This is where we challenge the ideas in B.
Speaker:E is for new effect.
Speaker:Something different to replace the old C.
Speaker:Let’s look at an example.
Speaker:Dan has always loved motorcycles and owns several.
Speaker:One fateful day, he is out riding at night and has an accident: He collides with a car, severely injuring the mother and daughter inside, totaling his favorite bike and leaving him with spinal damage that means that he will not ride a bike again for years—if ever.
Speaker:That’s one big, gnarly activating event!
Speaker:Believe it or not, Ellis would say that this event, tragic as it appears, is neutral and has no meaning by itself.
Speaker:But Dan is right there and responding instantly: He is completely destroyed with guilt and remorse.
Speaker:He calls it a tragedy.
Speaker:His world is so shaken by the event that he considers it a pivotal moment—before the accident, he was happy, carefree, and innocent.
Speaker:After it, he was a condemned man, miserable, doomed to carry the remorse of the damage he’d caused—not to mention the physical pain from his own significant injuries.
Speaker:Dan refuses to forgive himself.
Speaker:Despite being forgiven by the mother and the daughter in the car, and despite everyone around him telling him that it was an accident and not his fault, Dan is eaten up with shame and the deep wish to turn back time.
Speaker:He falls into a depression and, perhaps unconsciously, starts to punish himself.
Speaker:He withdraws socially and stops taking care of himself.
Speaker:A pattern of self-defeating, negative thinking seeps into his world.
Speaker:Here's how the ABC method applies to Dan:
Speaker:A – The activating event is the accident.
Speaker:B – There are many beliefs here, but the big one is, “I am guilty.
Speaker:I’m a bad, bad person.”
Speaker:C – The consequences are obvious.
Speaker:Dan spirals into depression and self-loathing, unable to forgive himself or move on.
Speaker:Now, the ABC part of the model is a roadmap to help explain the relationship between thoughts, feelings, and behavior.
Speaker:But it’s only when Dan seeks therapy with a CBT psychologist that he is asked to add on the other two letters and work through this dynamic so it can be transformed.
Speaker:Filled with grief and distress, Dan enters therapy and wants to talk about the details of the gruesome accident.
Speaker:The therapist listens, but he is not interested so much in the details of the story as he is in the meaning underneath them—he listens for the beliefs that inform the way Dan talks about his experience.
Speaker:Dan uses plenty of cognitive distortions (catastrophizing, “should” statements, and a heaping dose of personalization), but the therapist doesn’t engage with these—instead, he becomes curious about the core beliefs that these distortions are serving.
Speaker:They work together, and Dan becomes aware of the story he is telling himself about the event.
Speaker:Simply realizing he is telling a story in the first place allows him to gain some distance and perspective (more on this in the next section).
Speaker:The therapist starts to gently challenge Dan—is there possibly a different way of looking at the whole thing?
Speaker:Seeing clearly how the current story is damaging his life, Dan agrees he has nothing to lose and that he will try out a different perspective:
Speaker:“It was a sad and regrettable accident, but I did not do it on purpose.
Speaker:It’s true that I am responsible for the pain caused, but I never intended to hurt anyone, and that means that I am not a bad person, but just a person who made a mistake.
Speaker:Carrying shame and guilt doesn’t serve anyone, including me.
Speaker:It’s okay that I have found this difficult, but I can also give myself permission to move on now and live my life again.”
Speaker:So, is that the “right” story?
Speaker:Maybe.
Speaker:Dan could also tell another one:
Speaker:“The day of the accident was the worst day of my life.
Speaker:But despite all the pain, I am grateful it happened because it taught me something precious: to never take anything for granted, to live while I can, and to appreciate every moment I have.
Speaker:That means going out there and living life in the best way I possibly can so that when it’s my time to die, I know I’ve lived well and will not be filled with regret.”
Speaker:Completely different story.
Speaker:In fact, there are probably an infinite number of stories to tell about this event.
Speaker:None of them are right or wrong.
Speaker:However, all of them will lead to particular consequences.
Speaker:Are those consequences in line with a happy, healthy life that we want to create for ourselves?
Speaker:That’s how we tell if a story is one we want to adopt.
Speaker:Often, CBT is simply presented as a way to make simple and superficial tweaks to single sentences—for example, instead of saying, “This is hard; I can’t do it,” you say, “This is challenging, but I’ll try my best.” Make no mistake, this sort of alteration is incredibly helpful.
Speaker:It’s just that, in real life, you’ve probably noticed that your problems tend to take the form of stories rather than simple, discrete statements.
Speaker:You can use the principles of CBT in your own life.
Speaker:By using a “thought journal,” you can carefully work through the three elements (event, belief, and consequence) and start to replace destructive or unhelpful beliefs with better ones.
Speaker:Before we look at that, though, here’s a note on what “better” looks like when it comes to thoughts.
Speaker:No, they don’t have to be relentlessly “positive.” But a good replacement will be:
Speaker:• Accurate – it is a close reflection of external reality
Speaker:• Helpful – it actually assists you in achieving what you want in your life
Speaker:• Congruent – it aligns with who you are and the values and principles you hold dear.
Speaker:It goes without saying, but the thoughts you use to replace unhelpful ones shouldn’t be simply copied and pasted from someone else’s life—they have to genuinely mean something to you.
Speaker:Being your own CBT therapist is a little like applying the Find and Replace function on Microsoft Word.
Speaker:There are two parts.
Speaker:First, observe and identify your thoughts.
Speaker:Second, rewrite these beliefs and allow the change in perception to filter through to your actions and behaviors in the external world.
Speaker:Then, take note of the results, adjust, and repeat!
One warning:try to remember that you are not psychoanalyzing yourself.
One warning:If Dan started to unpick his childhood and unravel his relationship with his mother and came to some lofty and complicated ideas about how the motorcycle is really a phallic symbol representing his masculine id, and how the accident was really a manifestation of his repressed rage and an unconscious ploy to castrate his father, who was simultaneously cruel but masochistic .
One warning:.
One warning:.
One warning:then this is just another story.
One warning:A weird one.
One warning:At best it’s a distraction from real improvement; at worst it might more deeply embed certain harmful beliefs into Dan’s mind.
One warning:Remember that your task is not forensic and is not based in the past.
One warning:You are not required to construct an interesting-sounding theory about why things have happened as they have.
One warning:Instead, just keep focused on the response you are having to neutral stimuli.
One warning:What are the consequences?
One warning:What can you change to arrive at consequences you like more?
One warning:That’s all there is to it.
:How to Keep a Thought Journal
:This is not a conventional journal in the sense that you simply sit down and write whatever comes to you.
:While doing so has some therapeutic value, you’ll want to be a little more focused and deliberate when keeping a thought journal.
:You’re trying to understand:
:What are the main events that have occurred in my life?
:What are the beliefs I hold about these events?
:What are the emotions that result from thinking this way?
:How do I act and behave because I hold this belief?
:A thought journal can be used in a non-directed way if you merely want to gain some self-knowledge, but it’s best used when there is a particular problem you’re working through.
:Sit down when you won’t be disturbed, and give yourself five or ten minutes to just explore how you think and feel.
:Put it all down on paper—it doesn’t have to be perfect or make sense.
:Hold it all loosely and don’t try to interpret anything just yet.
:After the time is up, you may choose to take a little break before looking at it again.
:When you look again, you may notice some patterns and themes emerging.
:Maybe you go back through the text and pull these out with a highlighter.
:Or maybe you allow the main ideas and thoughts to coalesce into a few sentences.
:You’ll probably notice a few cognitive distortions in the mix!
:As you’re writing or re-reading, don’t try to avoid painful or uncomfortable themes—in fact, lean into those, as they will most reliably lead you to your core beliefs about the event that’s underway.
:Try also to avoid making any pronouncements just yet—don’t let that inner critic weigh in with judgments and diagnoses.
:Give yourself permission just to honestly express everything—yes, even that thing you’re trying hard not to think about!
:In the beginning, it’s just about curiosity.
:Let’s look at an example: Carl’s boss has alerted him to an industry conference that he’d be willing to pay for—if Carl can come up with a good presentation.
:Carl’s anxiety instantly goes through the roof.
:He sits down to journal it out, slowing his thought processes so he can get a handle on them.
:As best he can, he tries to write down a neutral, objective account of events: He’s been asked to do a presentation.
:He’s never done one before.
:What beliefs does he hold?
:He just writes them down before he can second-guess himself: I’m not good enough.
:My boss thinks I’m more able than I am.
:I hate public speaking.
:This is going to be humiliating .
:.
:.
:What emotions does he feel?
:There are the obvious ones: fear, panic, self-loathing.
:But he also identifies another feeling—it’s almost like tiredness, like the anticipation of being overwhelmed.
:He looks more closely at this feeling, and it reveals another, quite hidden belief he has: If I succeed at this, then I’ll have to keep on doing it, and I’m not sure I want to.
:Seeing this, he realizes he’s felt this way before: that if he succeeds, then people will come to expect that from him, holding him to higher standards, and his life will suddenly get harder and more demanding.
:Because he thinks and feels this way, his behavior suddenly makes more sense to him: He feels avoidant and noncommittal and says yes to the conference, but only out of a sense of duty.
:Teasing all these feelings apart is not just an academic exercise—finding out his exact thought patterns around this issue will allow Carl to make the best of the next step.
:After all, if you saw the problem as low self-belief, it would suggest a different solution than if you saw the problem as a lack of alignment with values, or even burnout.
:Take some time with your own issue, and don’t rush it.
:There may be several layers to your ingrained thought patterns!
:Rethink .
:.
:.
:and Redo
:Once you’ve identified the key thought patterns and core beliefs hiding inside your current situation, it’s time to get curious about alternative ways of looking at things.
:Once you’ve done that, then the next step becomes obvious, too: You think of ways to implement those new beliefs via action.
:It might be helpful to summarize things neatly by creating a table of two columns.
:One column is the negative thought pattern you currently hold, and the other column is where you brainstorm new beliefs and interpretations.
:The key point about this exercise, though, is that intellectually understanding what a better alternative would look like does not mean that you instantly replace it.
:Chances are, your negative thought patterns have been there for a while—it will take time to experience a genuine and lasting shift to something different, so be patient and realistic.
:In Carl’s case, he narrows down his beliefs on this issue to a few key thoughts:
:I am only allowed to do the work I’m good at.
:I can’t let people down, even if living up to their expectations makes me really unhappy.
:If an opportunity comes along, you have to take it because you never know if you’ll get another one.
:Carl recognizes that versions of these beliefs have popped up all throughout his life.
:He brainstorms a few realistic alternatives that he feels he can live with:
:Just because I do well at something, it doesn’t mean that I’m committed to doing it forever.
:People’s expectations of me are their own business, and I am not “letting anyone down” by doing what is right for me.
:I can face any new opportunity with curiosity and gratitude, but I can also take the time to decide whether it aligns with my goals.
:However, writing something new in the second column is the very least you can do.
:You have to imagine really drilling this new way of thinking into your mind—it has to become real for you.
:There are many ways of doing this, but passively waiting for your mind to catch up is not likely to work.
:This is where action can help.
:Imagine that everything you write in the second column is purely hypothetical—that is, until you take action to make it real.
:Here are a few ideas:
:• Take action that supplies you with evidence that supports your new belief.
:Your brain is intelligent—it doesn’t want to believe something without proof.
:So, in Carl’s example, his unhelpful thought is, “I am obligated to deliver on every expectation people have of me.” He can put it to the test.
:In a small way, he can refuse to let someone else’s expectations determine the action he will take.
:Or, for a bigger step, he can tell his boss he is attending a conference—but a different one that is more aligned with his interests and expertise.
:When the boss is okay with this and the world doesn’t actually end, Carl can make a mental note—maybe his beliefs are not as accurate as he thought.
:Then he can take another small step.
:Gradually, he is accumulating evidence for his new belief: “People’s expectations of me are their own business, and I am not ‘letting anyone down’ by doing what is right for me.”
:• Create and strengthen a new filter.
:Your old mental filter worked hard to only notice those things that confirmed your core belief.
:Every day, pause to deliberately ask yourself to look at things in a way that aligns with your new belief.
:For example, the old thought “I get depressed in winter” will give way to the new one “There are many things about winter that I still enjoy” if you try to find five things you love about each winter day when you wake up.
:In Carl’s case, he can gradually start to build a filter that reframes people’s expectations of him not as demands, but as genuinely interesting opportunities and possibilities—ones he is always at liberty to appraise as he sees fit.
:And when people communicate their expectations and hopes for him, he can filter this so their excitement is interpreted as care and kindness.
:He can slowly learn to respond to this good intention, rather than getting stressed that it means that he suddenly has to perform or else.
:• Practice self-compassion.
:Remember that cognitive distortions are not only about content, but about feeling.
:You might find that your thought processes are fairly rational and realistic, but the problem is that they’re just too harsh!
:For example, the thought, “Most of my life is behind me,” may be literally true .
:.
:.
:but it’s kind of unflattering.
:Here, taking action may simply mean being brave enough to face what’s uncomfortable with humor and kindness.
:“Well, you can’t go on an epic journey without putting a few miles on the clock!” Be polite and courteous to yourself.
:A little tact goes a long way.
:Try a handy trick for quickly cultivating self-acceptance: Put the words “.
:.
:.
:and I love that” at the end of something you’re framing as a problem.
:“I failed my driver’s test .
:.
:.
:and I love that.” It’s not a magic wand, but isn’t it interesting how it shifts your perspective?
:Maybe it’s not the end of the world that you’re flawed or struggling in the way you are.
:At least consider the possibility.
:In Carl’s case, a little compassion could remind him that he is entitled to seek out work he values and to be a little easier on himself.
:He may find out, in fact, that his boss actually has no big expectation of how the conference will go and was only making a suggestion—all of the pressure was coming from Carl alone.
:• Change statements to questions.
:Your core beliefs are just that—beliefs, not facts.
:If you find in the first column the thought, “Nobody wants to hire someone with my skills.” Change it to, “Is anyone hiring someone with my skills?” Literally go and check!
:Sounds too simple, but we often allow assumptions to act like facts in our lives.
:Be curious.
:Don’t say how the door is closed—ask about any other doors around you that are open.
:In fact, while you’re at it, ask about secret escape routes hidden under the floor you’re standing on!
:Carl could simply come out and ask his boss, “If I really do well at this conference, do you envision asking me to make more presentations in the future?” Imagine all the stress that Carl could avoid if the boss says, “Not at all.
:I just thought you might enjoy it.”
:• Go into learning mode.
:A great trick is to ask yourself “how?” Instead of saying, “I can’t do this,” say, “How can I do this?” If something isn’t working, don’t focus on that fact—ask what does work.
:If you have the belief, “I’ll always be bad with money,” then combat it with a very concrete, realistic question: “How can I start to improve my financial literacy?” This way, you’re not getting hung up on the fact of a challenge or obstacle, you’re just skipping right over it and refusing to dwell—instead, asking what happens next.
:One very powerful question to ask, no matter what you’re struggling with, is, “What kind of person do I have to be right now to cope with this well?”
:For Carl, a great way to get out of his particular thought pattern is to ask, “What do I expect of myself?
:If I don’t like making presentations, then what do I like doing?
:How can I do more of that at work?”
:236 00:23:39,680 --> 00:23:39,680
:Thank you so much for joining us today on "The Path to Calm."
:As we wrap up this episode, I hope that Nick Trenton's book, Anti-Anxious: has inspired you to take control of your life by transforming negative thoughts into a fulfilling narrative.
:Remember that it's within us all power to rewrite our thought patterns using tools like the ABCDE acronym, exploring stories we tell ourselves in a thought journal and examining whether alternative beliefs are accurate, helpful, or congruent with our values.
:It is time for you to decide if your current thoughts about life align with what truly matters most to you.
:Don't let overthinking control your mood; start today by identifying new ways of thinking and practicing self-compassion as you learn from evidence, not assumptions or fears.
:As always, we welcome any questions that may arise in the comments below our episode so be sure to leave us a message on Russell's website bitly NickTrenton@bitly.com - just drop your thoughts and experiences here!
Remember:life is what you think it is; take charge of how much control we have over ourselves or let negative thought patterns rule the narrative?
Remember:The choice to transform lies with each one of us, so start today by examining those stories that don't serve our best interests.
Remember:Don't forget—you can find Nick Trenton's book on Amazon and listeners who want an audiobook version are welcome at Audible or iTunes!
Remember:Thank you for joining me again next time when we will discuss another great tool to help with your journey towards inner calm, empowerment, and peace.
Remember:Until then - Be Present, Find Peace & Keep Calm by embracing a new narrative today through Nick Trenton's Anti-Anxious!
