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"Unleashing the Power of Positive Change: A Guide to Overcoming Negative Thinking
Stop Negative Thinking: How to Control Your Thoughts, Stop Overthinking, and Transform Your Mental Habits (The Path to Calm Book 9) By: Nick Trenton
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https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BGFGX5NH
Ready to take control of your thoughts and transform your mental habits? In this insightful video, we delve into Chapter 2 of Nick Trenton's life-changing book. Discover the ABC Method, a powerful technique to challenge negative thinking patterns, and learn how to keep a thought journal for self-reflection. Through simple yet effective steps, you'll master the art of rethinking and redirecting your thoughts towards a positive and empowering narrative. Say goodbye to overthinking and hello to a fulfilling life! Get ready to embrace self-acceptance and compassion as we explore these transformative practices. Click play now and take charge of your mental well-being! Book link: https://adbl.co/3S6g6rZ
Transcript
Hello, listeners, on this beautiful April 21st, 2025, we bring you a new episode of "The Path to Calm: Stop Overthinking, Become Present, Find Peace."
Speaker:As always, we aim to guide you towards inner tranquility and awareness.
Speaker:Todays featured book:
Speaker:Stop Negative Thinking: How to Control Your Thoughts, Stop Overthinking, and Transform Your Mental Habits (The Path to Calm Book 9) By: Nick Trenton
Speaker:6 00:00:29,640 --> 00:00:29,680 null
Speaker:Todays episode:
YouTube Headline:"Unleashing the Power of Positive Change: A Guide to Overcoming Negative Thinking"
YouTube Headline:Hey there!
YouTube Headline:Are you ready to take control of those pesky negative thoughts?
YouTube Headline:In this episode, we're diving into some powerful tools to rewrite those thought patterns once and for all!
YouTube Headline:We'll explore the ABCDE method, which is like having a secret code to unlock a happier mindset.
YouTube Headline:It's time to journal our way to new beliefs and discover if they align with our awesome values.
YouTube Headline:Get ready to challenge those thoughts and take action towards a brighter outlook!
YouTube Headline:We’ve explored the idea of reframing thoughts, and began to identify cognitive distortions as well as gently challenge them as they emerge.
YouTube Headline:It’s important that we have these fundamental paradigm shifts in place first; otherwise, we will merely be working within our negative mindset, not working on our negative mindset.
YouTube Headline:As Einstein famously said, “We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them."
YouTube Headline:In this chapter, we’ll look more closely at a concrete technique for slowing right down and rewriting the very programming that our negative thinking runs on.
YouTube Headline:But first, let’s look at the insights gathered by the founder of cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), Albert Ellis.
YouTube Headline:In his work, he couldn’t help but notice that different people seemed to respond very differently to similar events.
YouTube Headline:Why?
YouTube Headline:The events themselves didn’t explain the difference—it must be the thoughts, feelings, and beliefs of the people who were interpreting these events.
YouTube Headline:Over the years, Ellis came to the same conclusion that Shakespeare arguably did in Hamlet when he said, “There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.”
YouTube Headline:25 00:02:29,600 --> 00:02:36,720 Thoughts, feelings, and actions are all connected and work together to create your response to external events.
YouTube Headline:The ABC method, inspired by this understanding, helps us tease apart the different elements:
YouTube Headline:28 00:02:43,360 --> 00:02:46,480 A is for activating event.
YouTube Headline:This is neutral in the sense that it only takes on meaning and value according to our response to it.
YouTube Headline:B is for beliefs.
YouTube Headline:How we respond internally to the event.
YouTube Headline:C is for consequence.
YouTube Headline:Importantly, the outcome (consequence) is not a direct result of the event, but of our interpretation of the event.
YouTube Headline:The event is always neutral.
YouTube Headline:You can see where this is going: If we want to change our lives, we shouldn’t start with A, the external events, but B, how we think about the events these events come from.
YouTube Headline:In CBT, the goal is to make adaptive changes, so two new letters are added:
YouTube Headline:38 00:03:30,320 --> 00:03:32,760 D is for disputation.
YouTube Headline:This is where we challenge the ideas in B.
YouTube Headline:41 00:03:37,880 --> 00:03:39,800 E is for new effect.
YouTube Headline:Something different to replace the old C.
YouTube Headline:44 00:03:43,160 --> 00:03:45,320 Let’s look at an example.
YouTube Headline:Dan has always loved motorcycles and owns several.
YouTube Headline:One fateful day, he is out riding at night and has an accident: He collides with a car, severely injuring the mother and daughter inside, totaling his favorite bike and leaving him with spinal damage that means that he will not ride a bike again for years—if ever.
YouTube Headline:That’s one big, gnarly activating event!
YouTube Headline:Believe it or not, Ellis would say that this event, tragic as it appears, is neutral and has no meaning by itself.
YouTube Headline:But Dan is right there and responding instantly: He is completely destroyed with guilt and remorse.
YouTube Headline:He calls it a tragedy.
YouTube Headline:His world is so shaken by the event that he considers it a pivotal moment—before the accident, he was happy, carefree, and innocent.
YouTube Headline:After it, he was a condemned man, miserable, doomed to carry the remorse of the damage he’d caused—not to mention the physical pain from his own significant injuries.
YouTube Headline:Dan refuses to forgive himself.
YouTube Headline:Despite being forgiven by the mother and the daughter in the car, and despite everyone around him telling him that it was an accident and not his fault, Dan is eaten up with shame and the deep wish to turn back time.
YouTube Headline:He falls into a depression and, perhaps unconsciously, starts to punish himself.
YouTube Headline:He withdraws socially and stops taking care of himself.
YouTube Headline:A pattern of self-defeating, negative thinking seeps into his world.
YouTube Headline:Here's how the ABC method applies to Dan:
YouTube Headline:60 00:05:29,520 --> 00:05:32,800 A – The activating event is the accident.
YouTube Headline:B – There are many beliefs here, but the big one is, “I am guilty.
YouTube Headline:I’m a bad, bad person.”
YouTube Headline:64 00:05:44,400 --> 00:05:47,880 C – The consequences are obvious.
YouTube Headline:Dan spirals into depression and self-loathing, unable to forgive himself or move on.
YouTube Headline:Now, the ABC part of the model is a roadmap to help explain the relationship between thoughts, feelings, and behavior.
YouTube Headline:But it’s only when Dan seeks therapy with a CBT psychologist that he is asked to add on the other two letters and work through this dynamic so it can be transformed.
YouTube Headline:Filled with grief and distress, Dan enters therapy and wants to talk about the details of the gruesome accident.
YouTube Headline:The therapist listens, but he is not interested so much in the details of the story as he is in the meaning underneath them—he listens for the beliefs that inform the way Dan talks about his experience.
YouTube Headline:Dan uses plenty of cognitive distortions (catastrophizing, “should” statements, and a heaping dose of personalization), but the therapist doesn’t engage with these—instead, he becomes curious about the core beliefs that these distortions are serving.
YouTube Headline:They work together, and Dan becomes aware of the story he is telling himself about the event.
YouTube Headline:Simply realizing he is telling a story in the first place allows him to gain some distance and perspective (more on this in the next section).
YouTube Headline:The therapist starts to gently challenge Dan—is there possibly a different way of looking at the whole thing?
YouTube Headline:Seeing clearly how the current story is damaging his life, Dan agrees he has nothing to lose and that he will try out a different perspective:
YouTube Headline:76 00:07:28,120 --> 00:07:33,840 “It was a sad and regrettable accident, but I did not do it on purpose.
YouTube Headline:It’s true that I am responsible for the pain caused, but I never intended to hurt anyone, and that means that I am not a bad person, but just a person who made a mistake.
YouTube Headline:Carrying shame and guilt doesn’t serve anyone, including me.
YouTube Headline:It’s okay that I have found this difficult, but I can also give myself permission to move on now and live my life again.”
YouTube Headline:81 00:07:58,600 --> 00:08:03,440 So, is that the “right” story?
YouTube Headline:Maybe.
YouTube Headline:Dan could also tell another one:
YouTube Headline:85 00:08:06,400 --> 00:08:11,480 “The day of the accident was the worst day of my life.
YouTube Headline:But despite all the pain, I am grateful it happened because it taught me something precious: to never take anything for granted, to live while I can, and to appreciate every moment I have.
YouTube Headline:That means going out there and living life in the best way I possibly can so that when it’s my time to die, I know I’ve lived well and will not be filled with regret.”
YouTube Headline:89 00:08:35,360 --> 00:08:38,560 Completely different story.
YouTube Headline:In fact, there are probably an infinite number of stories to tell about this event.
YouTube Headline:None of them are right or wrong.
YouTube Headline:However, all of them will lead to particular consequences.
YouTube Headline:Are those consequences in line with a happy, healthy life that we want to create for ourselves?
YouTube Headline:That’s how we tell if a story is one we want to adopt.
YouTube Headline:Often, CBT is simply presented as a way to make simple and superficial tweaks to single sentences—for example, instead of saying, “This is hard; I can’t do it,” you say, “This is challenging, but I’ll try my best.” Make no mistake, this sort of alteration is incredibly helpful.
YouTube Headline:It’s just that, in real life, you’ve probably noticed that your problems tend to take the form of stories rather than simple, discrete statements.
YouTube Headline:You can use the principles of CBT in your own life.
YouTube Headline:By using a “thought journal,” you can carefully work through the three elements (event, belief, and consequence) and start to replace destructive or unhelpful beliefs with better ones.
YouTube Headline:Before we look at that, though, here’s a note on what “better” looks like when it comes to thoughts.
YouTube Headline:No, they don’t have to be relentlessly “positive.” But a good replacement will be:
YouTube Headline:102 00:10:03,960 --> 00:10:08,280 • Accurate – it is a close reflection of external reality
YouTube Headline:104 00:10:08,280 --> 00:10:14,320 • Helpful – it actually assists you in achieving what you want in your life
YouTube Headline:106 00:10:14,320 --> 00:10:22,440 • Congruent – it aligns with who you are and the values and principles you hold dear.
YouTube Headline:It goes without saying, but the thoughts you use to replace unhelpful ones shouldn’t be simply copied and pasted from someone else’s life—they have to genuinely mean something to you.
YouTube Headline:Being your own CBT therapist is a little like applying the Find and Replace function on Microsoft Word.
YouTube Headline:There are two parts.
YouTube Headline:First, observe and identify your thoughts.
YouTube Headline:Second, rewrite these beliefs and allow the change in perception to filter through to your actions and behaviors in the external world.
YouTube Headline:Then, take note of the results, adjust, and repeat!
:How to Keep a Thought Journal
:115 00:11:08,240 --> 00:11:15,120 This is not a conventional journal in the sense that you simply sit down and write whatever comes to you.
:While doing so has some therapeutic value, you’ll want to be a little more focused and deliberate when keeping a thought journal.
:You’re trying to understand:
:119 00:11:25,800 --> 00:11:28,960 What are the main events that have occurred in my life?
:What are the beliefs I hold about these events?
:What are the emotions that result from thinking this way?
:How do I act and behave because I hold this belief?
:A thought journal can be used in a non-directed way if you merely want to gain some self-knowledge, but it’s best used when there is a particular problem you’re working through.
:Sit down when you won’t be disturbed, and give yourself five or ten minutes to just explore how you think and feel.
:Put it all down on paper—it doesn’t have to be perfect or make sense.
:Hold it all loosely and don’t try to interpret anything just yet.
:After the time is up, you may choose to take a little break before looking at it again.
:When you look again, you may notice some patterns and themes emerging.
:Maybe you go back through the text and pull these out with a highlighter.
:Or maybe you allow the main ideas and thoughts to coalesce into a few sentences.
:You’ll probably notice a few cognitive distortions in the mix!
:As you’re writing or re-reading, don’t try to avoid painful or uncomfortable themes—in fact, lean into those, as they will most reliably lead you to your core beliefs about the event that’s underway.
:Try also to avoid making any pronouncements just yet—don’t let that inner critic weigh in with judgments and diagnoses.
:Give yourself permission just to honestly express everything—yes, even that thing you’re trying hard not to think about!
:Rethink .
:.
:.
:and Redo
:140 00:13:15,480 --> 00:13:26,640 Once you’ve identified the key thought patterns and core beliefs hiding inside your current situation, it’s time to get curious about alternative ways of looking at things.
:Once you’ve done that, then the next step becomes obvious, too: You think of ways to implement those new beliefs via action.
:It might be helpful to summarize things neatly by creating a table of two columns.
:One column is the negative thought pattern you currently hold, and the other column is where you brainstorm new beliefs and interpretations.
:The key point about this exercise, though, is that intellectually understanding what a better alternative would look like does not mean that you instantly replace it.
:Chances are, your negative thought patterns have been there for a while—it will take time to experience a genuine and lasting shift to something different, so be patient and realistic.
:So, writing something new in the second column is the very least you can do.
:You have to imagine really drilling this new way of thinking into your mind—it has to become real for you.
:There are many ways of doing this, but passively waiting for your mind to catch up is not likely to work.
:This is where action can help.
:Imagine that everything you write in the second column is purely hypothetical—that is, until you take action to make it real.
:Here are a few ideas:
:153 00:14:44,560 --> 00:14:50,120 • Take action that supplies you with evidence that supports your new belief.
:Your brain is intelligent—it doesn’t want to believe something without proof.
:So, for example, if your unhelpful thought is, “Everyone will hate what I create,” then put it to the test.
:In a small way, ask someone for their opinion on what you’ve created.
:When they don’t hate it, make a mental note.
:Then take another small step.
:Gradually, you are accumulating evidence for your new thought: “There are people who like my art.”
:161 00:15:21,360 --> 00:15:25,720 • Create and strengthen a new filter.
:Your old mental filter worked hard to only notice those things that confirmed your core belief.
:Every day, pause to deliberately ask yourself to look at things in a way that aligns with your new belief.
:The old thought, “I get depressed in winter,” will give way to the new one, “There are many things about winter that I still enjoy,” if you try to find five things you love about each winter day when you wake up.
:• Practice self-compassion.
:Remember that cognitive distortions are not only about content, but about feeling.
:You might find that your thought processes are fairly rational and realistic, but the problem is that they’re just too harsh!
:The thought, “Most of my life is behind me,” may be literally true .
:.
:.
:but it’s kind of unflattering.
:Here, taking action may simply mean being brave enough to face what’s uncomfortable with humor and kindness.
:“Well, you can’t go on an epic journey without putting a few miles on the clock!” Be polite and courteous to yourself.
:A little tact goes a long way.
:Try a handy trick for quickly cultivating self-acceptance: Put the words “.
:.
:.
:and I love that” at the end of something you’re framing as a problem.
:“I failed my driver’s test .
:.
:.
:and I love that.” It’s not a magic wand, but isn’t it interesting how it shifts your perspective?
:Maybe it’s not the end of the world that you’re flawed or struggling in the way you are.
:At least consider the possibility.
:• Change statements to questions.
:Your core beliefs are just that—beliefs, not facts.
:If you find in the first column the thought, “Nobody wants to hire someone with my skills.” Change it to, “Is anyone hiring someone with my skills?” Literally go and check!
:Sounds too simple, but we often allow assumptions to act like facts in our lives.
:Be curious.
:Don’t say how the door is closed—ask about any other doors around you that are open.
:In fact, while you’re at it, ask about secret escape routes hidden under the floor you’re standing on!
:• Go into learning mode.
:A great trick is to ask yourself “how?” Instead of saying, “I can’t do this,” say, “How can I do this?” If something isn’t working, don’t focus on that fact—ask what does work.
:If you have the belief, “I’ll always be with money,” then combat it with a very concrete, realistic question: “How can I start to improve my financial literacy?” This way, you’re not getting hung up on the fact of a challenge or obstacle, you’re just skipping right over it and refusing to dwell—instead, asking what happens next.
:One very powerful question to ask, no matter what you’re struggling with, is, “What kind of person do I have to be right now to cope with this well?”
:197 00:18:54,040 --> 00:19:00,960 Hey there, podcast listeners!
:We've reached the end of another insightful episode, and I hope you're feeling inspired to take control of those negative thoughts.
:Changing our thought patterns is not easy, but it's so worth it.
:Remember, we need a fresh perspective; thinking differently can help us solve problems in ways we never imagined.
:So, grab that journal and explore the ABCDE method - it's a great tool to understand your beliefs and shape new ones.
:When you're ready for change, ask yourself: "How can I think about this differently?"
:Then, take action!
:Look for evidence, be kind to yourself, and approach everything with curiosity.
:Your thoughts are powerful, so use them wisely and positively.
:Here's a quote to motivate you further - "The mind is like water; when it’s turbulent, it’s difficult to see.
:But when it’s still, the image of truth is clearly reflected."
:Let that sink in as we sign off.
:Thanks for tuning in!
:Until next time, stay positive and keep those mental habits in check!
