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Coach Yourself To Success: GROW & Outcome Frame Models Explained! AudioChapter
00:00:00 The Art of Self-Coaching
00:06:29 Road 1 - The GROW Model
00:18:52 Road 2 - The Outcome Frame Model
00:20:39 Define Your Desired State
The Art of Self-Coaching: How to Understand, Grow, Learn, & Thrive (Mental and Emotional Abundance Book 14) By: Nick Trenton
Hear it Here - https://adbl.co/3JBRVw2
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09VFVXK7H
There is a very simple process for self-growth: (1) gain self-awareness of where you are, (2) define where you want to go, and (3) formulate a plan. This book is your guide.
The Art of Self-Coaching is a book about self-growth. Instead of outsourcing your tactical and emotional needs onto others, or even a therapist, this book shows you exactly how to have the same conversations and discoveries by yourself. It's tough to know how to grow if you don't have a directive or understanding of the process. This book is your guide to independently becoming the best and happiest version of yourself.
Clarify your values and never spend another day dissatisfied.
Nick Trenton grew up in rural Illinois and is quite literally a farm boy. His best friend growing up was his trusty companion Leonard the dachshund. RIP Leonard. Eventually, he made it off the farm and obtained a BS in Economics, followed by an MA in Behavioral Psychology.
Become your own best motivator, teacher, and student.
-Understand your values, needs, and various types of motivations
-Scientific frameworks for behavior change and growth
-Learning how to observe yourself and formulate plans for action
-How to disarm the ego and skyrocket your growth
-How to grant yourself permission to be yourself
-Actionable steps for understanding your blind spots
-Self-awareness questions to get unstuck, gain clarity, and push yourself forward
#BehavioralPsychologyBecome #Clarify #Emotional #EmotionalAbundanceBook #GrowLearnThriveMental #Keywords #Leonard #Mental #Nick #NickTrenton #NickTrentonLets #RIPLeonardEventually #Selfcoaching #SelfCoachingHow #Thrive #Trenton #Understand #RussellNewton #NewtonMG #TheArtofSelf-Coaching
Transcript
The Art of Self-Coaching. How to Understand, Grow, Learn, and Thrive.
Speaker:Written by Nick Trenton. Narrated by Russell Newton.
Speaker:Let's begin this book with a question. How does anyone go from point A to point B?
Speaker:If you're physically traveling from place to place, you'll need a vehicle.
Speaker:But arguably, if you're traveling from one state of being to another, you'll also need a vehicle.
Speaker:Whenever we make a real change in who we are, how we behave, what we feel, and how we think,
Speaker:we are essentially transforming from one way of being into another.
Speaker:We can get to where we want to go in many ways by using many different vehicles.
Speaker:The vehicle often depends on the goal.
Speaker:We could try psychotherapy, or ask a mentor to show us the ropes in a new industry.
Speaker:We could go to university, or sign up for a personal development course.
Speaker:We could ask our parents. But did you notice anything in common with these vehicles?
Speaker:They're all driven by someone else.
Speaker:When you form a relationship with a teacher, mentor, counselor, advisor, guru, consultant, or expert,
Speaker:you are attempting to get from point A to B with the help and guidance of someone else.
Speaker:It's like looking out for a bus going to the place you want to go, or hopping in a taxi,
Speaker:and telling the taxi driver where you need to be.
Speaker:When you hire a coach of any kind, you're not engaging in therapy or consulting,
Speaker:and the coach never tells you what to do, but engages you in a conversation, asks you questions,
Speaker:and helps you figure out what you're trying to achieve.
Speaker:They're assuming a certain amount of responsibility and self-knowledge on your part.
Speaker:They know that you have it in you, but you need the space and support to help you access that it, whatever it may be.
Speaker:But to extend the driving metaphor as far as it can go, you can drive yourself.
Speaker:You can give this same space and support to yourself, and trust you have it in you, whatever the it may be.
Speaker:Self-coaching is nothing more than a way to instigate and support meaningful changes in your own life and under your own steam.
Speaker:A way to drive yourself from point A to point B.
Speaker:Conventional coaching is a great model for personal development, but it has drawbacks.
Speaker:It's expensive, and you may find yourself having serious incompatibilities with your chosen coach.
Speaker:And by incompatibilities, I also mean that some coaches are just not particularly good.
Speaker:Think of it this way.
Speaker:In a coaching session, a coach may see where you are, understand the obstacle in your way,
Speaker:and prompt you with a question to bring insight and spur a change in your behavior.
Speaker:The desired change in behavior isn't just superficial or external, though.
Speaker:It has to arise from some internal change.
Speaker:And if that change comes from within you, then the coach was only ever instrumental.
Speaker:They didn't make you change.
Speaker:You changed yourself.
Speaker:Good coaching is about creating the right space and opportunity for change and growth,
Speaker:reflecting on your process and developing your sense of being a proactive agent in that process,
Speaker:developing self-awareness, learning to trial and error your own behavior and experimenting with your experience,
Speaker:practicing ways of finding help and community with others,
Speaker:bravely confronting your limiting beliefs and thought patterns,
Speaker:and challenging your mental models so you can rebuild your life from the inside out.
Speaker:Looking at this list, there's no reason you do none of this for yourself.
Speaker:The benefit of coach is that they are a separate person standing outside of you,
Speaker:able to, hopefully, supply you with objective feedback about what's going on in your world.
Speaker:But with self-awareness, honesty, and enough discipline to be consistent,
Speaker:you can step outside of your world in exactly the same way and look at it objectively,
Speaker:just as a coach would.
Speaker:A coach can give structure to your process and bring your attention to things
Speaker:that you may have been mindless about before.
Speaker:They can call out all your blind spots and challenge you when they think you're ready.
Speaker:Is it possible to do this for yourself?
Speaker:Yes. Just remember that change, whenever it happens, is first an internal, personal event.
Speaker:Growth, if it occurs, does so because the person doing the growing had within them everything that was needed.
Speaker:We can encourage a seed to grow into the best tree it can be,
Speaker:but the seed always knows how to be a tree and can be nothing else, whether we were there to help it or not.
Speaker:Similarly, right now as you read this book, remind yourself that you possess a powerful inner drive towards development.
Speaker:In the same way as you're alive doing nothing special to make it happen,
Speaker:you also possess a spirit of growth and development within you.
Speaker:This allows you to drive yourself.
Speaker:This spirit can be wasted, misused, or twisted out of shape.
Speaker:Just because a person can drive a car doesn't mean they can do it perfectly without ever getting driving lessons.
Speaker:With a conscious goal and with effort, we can shape and support our innate drive towards growth so it can best fulfill its potential.
Speaker:Self-coaching can encompass all sorts of techniques and approaches, including ritual, journaling, setting goals, running thought experiments,
Speaker:practicing mindfulness, and engaging in Socratic dialogue with yourself.
Speaker:All these techniques, however, are about working with your inbuilt capacity for growth.
Speaker:In the chapters that follow, we'll be exploring these techniques, but it's not a directive.
Speaker:These are not rules or commands, but a framework to help you organize your journey as you drive from A to B.
Speaker:We'll explore all the things we need to grow.
Speaker:One, awareness of where we are and where we want to go.
Speaker:Two, the tools to get us there.
Speaker:Three, enough objectivity to gain feedback and see how we're doing.
Speaker:Four, a sensible framework to put it all together.
Speaker:For example, something like this book.
Speaker:Let's dive in.
Speaker:Road one, the grow model.
Speaker:One thing that will become immediately obvious when you embark on a personal development mission is this.
Speaker:You have choices.
Speaker:Nobody's coming to tell you which the right way is to go.
Speaker:It's your job to ask questions, act consciously, and take responsibility for the outcomes.
Speaker:The first big fork in the road is to choose which framework makes the most sense for you.
Speaker:The big idea here is there is no right way.
Speaker:There's only what works, and only you can say if it works.
Speaker:One path you can take, i.e. one way you can organize your developmental process, is called the grow model.
Speaker:First created by Sir John Whitmore and his colleagues in the 80s, the model was outlined in a book,
Speaker:Coaching for Performance, which quickly became a bestseller.
Speaker:The model outlines a structure for a coaching session and breaks down sequential steps that bring you closer to solutions.
Speaker:It goes like this.
Speaker:Goal, what do you want?
Speaker:Reality, what is happening now?
Speaker:Options, what can you do?
Speaker:Will, what will you do?
Speaker:This process happens anytime we develop, but if we consciously and proactively engage with it, it becomes a powerful tool.
Speaker:If you get stuck, come back to this framework for clarity.
Speaker:If you feel overwhelmed or unhappy, come back to the framework to focus on the solution rather than the problem.
Speaker:The steps are clear and in order, so you won't wander off too far from what ultimately matters,
Speaker:being consciously aware of what you have now, point A, what you want, point B, and how you can get there.
Speaker:Travel the distance between them.
Speaker:In this way, self-coaching differs greatly from open-ended reflection or therapy.
Speaker:You always tether your insights back to concrete action.
Speaker:Let's look at each step with examples.
Speaker:Step one, goals.
Speaker:So what do you want anyway?
Speaker:Seems simple, but so much is jeopardized at this first step when we only think we have set ourselves goals,
Speaker:when we have nothing more than vague and ill-defined wishes and hopes.
Speaker:To simply be better is not enough. What does that actually look like?
Speaker:When you're outlining your goals, ask yourself these questions remembering that a goal that is crisp and clear is the one most likely to happen for you.
Speaker:When do you want your goal to materialize?
Speaker:Remember that goals look different depending on their time scales.
Speaker:What are the details of this goal?
Speaker:Outline your specific thoughts, feelings, and behaviors.
Speaker:What is your goal, stated simply and in words?
Speaker:How will you know when you've actually achieved it?
Speaker:What kind of goal is this?
Speaker:Something you have, something you are, something you do?
Speaker:What is the point of this goal, i.e., what are the benefits?
Speaker:How will life be different after the goal?
Speaker:How will you be different?
Speaker:By asking yourself these questions, you take nothing for granted.
Speaker:Don't assume that your goals are obvious and don't assume that just because a goal seems appealing or necessary at first,
Speaker:that you'll ultimately choose it.
Speaker:It's common, for example, for people to unconsciously adopt the goals of those around them,
Speaker:which might align with their own deep down.
Speaker:It'd be a shame to discover this only after you've spent time and effort achieving something that's not actually meaningful for you.
Speaker:For a simple example, imagine that you're in high school and thinking about your future.
Speaker:Everyone in your family has gone to university, including all your older siblings,
Speaker:and the assumption is that you will too.
Speaker:They've all studied medicine or done degrees in biology or chemistry,
Speaker:and your teachers all agree these subjects are your strengths too.
Speaker:But somewhere along the way, you need to figure out what you want.
Speaker:Like many teenagers, you're not yet sure who you are or what you want your life to look like.
Speaker:Following the goal model, you work hard to clarify your goals,
Speaker:but every time you try, you can't seem to visualize yourself at university doing medicine.
Speaker:You can't picture the benefits.
Speaker:The vision seems hazy in your mind, and you're neither inspired nor challenged at the thought.
Speaker:As you can see, the goal part of the process can not only help you identify new goals,
Speaker:but clarify and question old ones.
Speaker:After a while, maybe you realize something important that you don't want to study medicine
Speaker:and you don't actually want to go to university.
Speaker:You sit down and ask yourself more deeply, what do I want?
Speaker:You notice you're more excited and focused on a different goal, starting your own business.
Speaker:This becomes so real in your mind, you can almost taste it.
Speaker:You state the goal clearly.
Speaker:You want to complete training to be an electrician while working as an apprentice
Speaker:and then, within two years, work for yourself as an independent contractor.
Speaker:You can see this endpoint.
Speaker:You feel competent and proud, and you're making enough money to support yourself.
Speaker:You can see the steps to get there.
Speaker:You can even see your business cards printed with your name on them
Speaker:and can imagine yourself picking them up from the printers.
Speaker:Your goal is no longer vague, meaningless, or uninspiring, such as the goal,
Speaker:go to university and study some sort of medicine thing and then, I don't know,
Speaker:find a job, I guess, but razor sharp.
Speaker:This clarity, this ability to see, is what the first step is all about.
Speaker:You'll know you're ready to move to the next step when you feel this clarity
Speaker:and you're itching to bring it to life.
Speaker:Step two, reality.
Speaker:But what about point A?
Speaker:Your ability to get to point B depends on the limits and resources you can find in point A.
Speaker:The thing about asking what's happening right now
Speaker:is that you discover there are many things happening and many perspectives to take.
Speaker:Get a good sense of your world as it is right now, the before to your after.
Speaker:What is the situation currently?
Speaker:How far away from your goal are you?
Speaker:How do you think and feel about the situation?
Speaker:I.e., how are you in the present?
Speaker:What have you tried so far?
Speaker:What's worked and what hasn't?
Speaker:What are you doing to bring about your goals?
Speaker:Is it working?
Speaker:What are the obstacles?
Speaker:What resources do you have access to?
Speaker:How does the current situation affect you and others right now?
Speaker:Whatever you do, don't rush this step.
Speaker:It's uncomfortable to dwell on the present if all you want to do is escape it.
Speaker:Some life coaches would unknowingly encourage a kind of denial
Speaker:and would repeatedly draw your attention to all the positive things that are possible.
Speaker:But without a clear understanding of what is, you're not able to fully understand what could be.
Speaker:Engaging with reality is not about dwelling on the problem though.
Speaker:Negative self-talk can distract us from the process.
Speaker:For example, we start to say,
Speaker:this is hopeless, I'm a failure.
Speaker:Instead of, my current situation isn't working for me.
Speaker:The difference is an attitude of calm neutrality focusing on the present
Speaker:with an intention of finding solutions rather than making judgments.
Speaker:Watch yourself closely as you engage this step
Speaker:and make sure you're not rushing from the past to the future
Speaker:and skipping right over the present.
Speaker:For example, you might say,
Speaker:she cheated and I told her to move out.
Speaker:I'm going to file for divorce and that's that.
Speaker:But doing so hides the present moment.
Speaker:How do you feel right now?
Speaker:Events and feelings from the past are being allowed to dictate future actions.
Speaker:But if so, you never forgive yourself the chance to gain a new perspective
Speaker:in the present and act from that.
Speaker:You could say instead,
Speaker:she cheated and I told her to move out.
Speaker:We're both feeling pretty hurt and confused right now.
Speaker:I'm taking the weekend to think things over
Speaker:and then we're having a discussion on Monday to talk about a way forward.
Speaker:When things are difficult, there is a temptation to rush to action
Speaker:and to consider options.
Speaker:It can feel wrong to not make a pronouncement
Speaker:or come to a conclusion or decision as soon as possible
Speaker:but give yourself time to develop more awareness of the situation.
Speaker:Insights may come, but they need time and space.
Speaker:They need for you to cool off and consider other perspectives.
Speaker:You can act from the emotional energy that comes with rehashing stories about the past
Speaker:or you can act from the calm that comes from
Speaker:neutrally considering the present as it is now.
Speaker:Usually acting from the emotional momentum of the past keeps you in confusion.
Speaker:You're merely being reactive.
Speaker:But if you cool off first and observe yourself with awareness,
Speaker:you become firm in your resolve and proactive.
Speaker:In our example, rushing to sign divorce papers
Speaker:comes from an immediate sense of betrayal and anger
Speaker:and shuts us out to the realities in the present.
Speaker:If we explore the present however,
Speaker:we might see we're not as angry now as we were yesterday.
Speaker:We can see the impact of the event on us right now
Speaker:and how this is evolving with time.
Speaker:We can explore new possible realities without being rash.
Speaker:When we feel like our awareness has grown
Speaker:and that we have a new level of insight and understanding,
Speaker:i.e. we know something now that we didn't before,
Speaker:we're ready to move to the next level,
Speaker:where we translate insight into action.
Speaker:Once you feel a new energy and clarity around the issue,
Speaker:you'll naturally wonder about actions to move you forwards.
Speaker:We should only consider options for action.
Speaker:Once we've planned out our goal and have a full grasp
Speaker:of the reality in front of us.
Speaker:What is possible here?
Speaker:What can you do in this situation?
Speaker:What are the steps and actions available to you?
Speaker:How can you learn more about doing things right?
Speaker:How might other people act in your shoes?
Speaker:If there were no limits, what would you do?
Speaker:What related actions have worked well for you in the past?
Speaker:This step is the step of possibility.
Speaker:So keep things as open-ended as you can.
Speaker:Bring storm ideas.
Speaker:Don't be in too much of a hurry to nail down one action.
Speaker:You can do this by continuing to ask,
Speaker:is there anything else after you come up with a possibility?
Speaker:Keep asking yourself this until you run out of ideas
Speaker:or you find yourself repeating things.
Speaker:Useful options often stem from insight and understanding
Speaker:gained in the previous step.
Speaker:For example, you might have learned of the fact
Speaker:that you always fail in your exercise resolutions
Speaker:because you hate going to the gym.
Speaker:Without this insight, you'd just barge ahead
Speaker:with the goal of going to the gym more.
Speaker:If you do steps two and three fully, though,
Speaker:you realize that you can be more active
Speaker:by doing something you already know you enjoy,
Speaker:walking your dog, playing sports, dancing, or hiking.
Speaker:Step four, will.
Speaker:It should be a seamless flow from option to action.
Speaker:What are you going to do?
Speaker:How?
Speaker:When?
Speaker:With whom?
Speaker:What's the way forward?
Speaker:How shall I ramp up?
Speaker:When you reach this step,
Speaker:a lack of commitment or clarity is a signal
Speaker:you might benefit from doing the grow process again
Speaker:to uncover any blocks or limits.
Speaker:Comfortably feel the full force of your will here.
Speaker:If not, don't worry.
Speaker:Just reiterate the previous steps until you do.
Speaker:Don't act unless you feel you have enough clarity
Speaker:and determination to do so.
Speaker:For example, you may be deliberating over
Speaker:how to deal with increasing dissatisfaction
Speaker:in your job and decide after long reflection
Speaker:you want to search for a new one.
Speaker:You'll know you've completed the process
Speaker:when the thought of handing in your resignation letter
Speaker:feels right.
Speaker:It feels like a solution and a way forward.
Speaker:Remember, the grow framework is just that, a framework.
Speaker:The outcome frame model takes you to the same place
Speaker:as the grow model.
Speaker:It just takes a slightly different route to get there.
Speaker:As a framework, it has a lot in common with the grow model
Speaker:and it guides you step by step
Speaker:through achieving what you set out to achieve.
Speaker:To use this framework, you first create what is called
Speaker:an outcome frame.
Speaker:Here, you create your desired state
Speaker:and remove all the obstacles in the way to you achieving that state.
Speaker:You simultaneously stir up excitement and inspiration
Speaker:for the desired state.
Speaker:It's like doing whatever you can to step off the brick pedal
Speaker:while stepping more on the accelerator pedal.
Speaker:An underlying principle to the approach is that
Speaker:human beings always choose the best available feeling
Speaker:on the menu.
Speaker:This means that while people naturally want to optimize,
Speaker:everyone wants to feel better,
Speaker:we can always improve this process by increasing our range
Speaker:of perceived options.
Speaker:We add more choices to the menu.
Speaker:So the technique is twofold.
Speaker:One, remove obstacles.
Speaker:Two, take the freed up energy from pushing against those obstacles
Speaker:and point it towards the desired state.
Speaker:Much like our previous model,
Speaker:we discover what we want,
Speaker:we clarify how we'll get it,
Speaker:and we conclude by acting.
Speaker:The difference here is that desired state can mean
Speaker:quite a lot of things and encompass internal
Speaker:or psychological changes.
Speaker:Second, this model puts a little more focus on what change
Speaker:or evolution will cost you,
Speaker:your roadblocks, and how you'll get through them.
Speaker:Let's look at the steps.
Speaker:Step one, identify what you want.
Speaker:Define your desired state.
Speaker:Step two, identify the benefits of achieving that state
Speaker:and what it will feel and look like for you.
Speaker:Step three, identify the criteria for knowing you've achieved it.
Speaker:Step four, what are the side effects, costs, and risks?
Speaker:Identify what valuable thing you must let go of
Speaker:to achieve your desired state.
Speaker:Step five, identify the context and details
Speaker:of the desired state, who, when, where, how.
Speaker:Step six, identify the next steps you can take.
Speaker:As you can see, it's the same journey we identified above.
Speaker:It just takes a different route with a few more pit stops.
Speaker:Here's how you might use this idea in practice.
Speaker:Step one, you decide to lose 10 pounds.
Speaker:Step two, you imagine the benefits.
Speaker:You'll look and feel better, you'll be healthier,
Speaker:you'll feel proud of yourself,
Speaker:and you'll be able to better enjoy
Speaker:your favorite activities and hobbies.
Speaker:You envision yourself feeling lighter on your feet
Speaker:and more confident.
Speaker:In your mind's eye, you even picture yourself
Speaker:wearing a new outfit you look amazing in.
Speaker:You feel great.
Speaker:Step three, you'll know you've achieved your goal
Speaker:when the scale records 10 pounds gone.
Speaker:Step four, there's a lot you must give up.
Speaker:For one, your excuses.
Speaker:You'll have to stop being passive and blaming other things
Speaker:for your habits and lifestyle,
Speaker:and you'll have to get a handle on emotional overeating
Speaker:and being lazy about working out.
Speaker:Plus, you'll have to give up eating so much junk food.
Speaker:There are costs and risks.
Speaker:It takes energy, strategy, and willpower
Speaker:to stick to a weight loss plan,
Speaker:and it's way more comfortable to do just nothing.
Speaker:Also, there's a risk of failing
Speaker:and feeling worse about yourself instead of better.
Speaker:You have to have faith in yourself,
Speaker:and that can feel like a gamble.
Speaker:Step five, here's where you outline the details
Speaker:of so-called smart goals.
Speaker:You give yourself the specific and realistic goal
Speaker:of losing 10 pounds within one month.
Speaker:You also identify the context of this achievement.
Speaker:You note the people that could help you,
Speaker:a weight loss mentor, a nutritionist or trainer,
Speaker:your spouse, the time and place.
Speaker:You'll weigh yourself every three days after your shower
Speaker:and before breakfast at 8 a.m.
Speaker:and the weight loss approach you'll be using.
Speaker:10,000 steps a day combined
Speaker:with a fixed daily caloric reduction during the month.
Speaker:Step six, seeing all this,
Speaker:you at last identify the next step you can take.
Speaker:This could be throwing out tempting food snacks,
Speaker:contacting a trainer or nutritionist,
Speaker:heading to the grocery store to stock up on veggies,
Speaker:or announcing to everyone your intentions
Speaker:so they hold you accountable.
Speaker:It's great if your actions concretely connect
Speaker:to your obstacles and work to remove them.
Speaker:The above steps are designed to be mulled over all at once.
Speaker:The recommendation is that you sit for 15 minutes
Speaker:at a minimum to strategize
Speaker:and you'll know you're done
Speaker:when you have a concrete set of actions to get you started.
Speaker:The above example is pretty simple,
Speaker:but this approach can be used for all sorts of goals.
Speaker:The desired state can be anything,
Speaker:attitudes, actions, realizations, feelings or events.
Speaker:It's usually best, however,
Speaker:to break big goals down into smaller ones,
Speaker:just for clarity's sake.
Speaker:What if you sit down to create an outcome frame
Speaker:and you get stuck at the first step,
Speaker:i.e., you have no idea what you want?
Speaker:This isn't a problem.
Speaker:We usually do this exercise when we have a clear idea
Speaker:that we need to do something,
Speaker:but we're not yet clear on the details
Speaker:and are lacking direction.
Speaker:Your problem may be that you know what you want,
Speaker:but don't have a plan for how to get it,
Speaker:or maybe you aren't even clear on what you desire.
Speaker:We can sometimes land up here
Speaker:when we've been sitting with a problem for a long time
Speaker:and have lost the ability to even imagine a way out.
Speaker:We can also find ourselves here
Speaker:if we've succumbed to negative self-talk
Speaker:and repeatedly placed our attention on the problem,
Speaker:almost forgetting there could ever be a solution.
Speaker:If this is you,
Speaker:a good idea is to start with what you don't want.
Speaker:Really flesh it out in your imagination,
Speaker:but don't just stop there or dwell on the negatives.
Speaker:Switch your unwanted around
Speaker:and look at its opposite.
Speaker:This may show you your real desires.
Speaker:Steps one, two, and three
Speaker:are a little like the goals stage in the GROW model,
Speaker:where we identify our goals and imagine them vividly.
Speaker:Step four, where we identify roadblocks,
Speaker:is akin to perceiving reality
Speaker:in the second step of the GROW model.
Speaker:Options and will are similar to step four and five, respectively.
Speaker:Where these models differ is in the importance
Speaker:they assign to each step.
Speaker:There's more focus in GROW
Speaker:on fully engaging with the present reality,
Speaker:whereas in the Outcome Frame model,
Speaker:you're asked to perceive only the roadblocks, risks,
Speaker:and costs in the present moment.
Speaker:This means you may skip over new potentials
Speaker:or untapped resources.
Speaker:The Outcome Frame model also asks you
Speaker:to consider the details of your chosen goal in step five,
Speaker:where you think about the context
Speaker:and the who, what, where, and why.
Speaker:But unlike the GROW model,
Speaker:you're not considering all feasible options,
Speaker:just those of the path you've already identified.
Speaker:While the GROW model does allow you to do this,
Speaker:it lacks the Outcome Frame's focus
Speaker:on what frequently derails any growth attempt, resistance.
Speaker:Two approaches, two sets of advantages and disadvantages.
Speaker:As we said in the beginning of this chapter,
Speaker:this book is not about telling you which approach is right,
Speaker:but acknowledging that we have the option
Speaker:to choose an approach that fits us best,
Speaker:depending on our needs.
Speaker:Consider using the GROW approach
Speaker:if you're trying to problem-solve,
Speaker:think out of the box,
Speaker:or uncover a novel solution
Speaker:via a perspective switch or paradigm shift.
Speaker:You're at the start of a journey
Speaker:and want to clarify an overall strategy.
Speaker:Your goal is more external,
Speaker:i.e. more action-based, practical, creative,
Speaker:or involving others.
Speaker:Consider using the Outcome Frame model
Speaker:if your goals are more internal,
Speaker:i.e. personal, psychological, or relational.
Speaker:You've tried to change before and failed,
Speaker:i.e. certain mental obstacles cause resistance,
Speaker:and you need to address that.
Speaker:You are already on a previously chosen path,
Speaker:but need to fine-tune your process.
Speaker:One way to move forward is to use both processes.
Speaker:Start with the GROW approach at first,
Speaker:then use the Outcome Frame model
Speaker:to keep tabs on yourself
Speaker:and do regular maintenance on your overall strategy.
Speaker:While the GROW process is done sequentially,
Speaker:and each step only commences
Speaker:when the previous step is finished,
Speaker:the Outcome Frame approach is done all at once
Speaker:in around 15 minutes.
Speaker:You might blend the two using the best of both.
Speaker:Sit down and create an Outcome Frame,
Speaker:but import sections from the GROW model.
Speaker:In our weight loss example,
Speaker:this might mean inserting an extra step before step 5
Speaker:where you tease apart the goals' details.
Speaker:Take the time to first consider different options
Speaker:and possibilities for achieving a goal,
Speaker:so you know you're not rushing ahead with something
Speaker:that will ultimately fail.
Speaker:You might do this and discover that
Speaker:calorie counting is a big disaster for you
Speaker:since it only draws your attention to what you can't eat
Speaker:and makes you feel deprived.
Speaker:But by exploring your options in an open-ended way first,
Speaker:you can discover this is not the only option.
Speaker:There are many other ways to lose weight.
Speaker:You could try intermittent fasting instead, for example.
Speaker:You could stick mainly with the GROW model,
Speaker:but include a thorough assessment of your own resistance
Speaker:in step 2 reality.
Speaker:For example, when you're asking the question,
Speaker:what is happening right now?
Speaker:You could remember to include internal psychological factors,
Speaker:such as, I seem to keep self-sabotaging,
Speaker:or, apparently, I can never be trusted around Oreos.
Speaker:Long story short, you can do what you like.
Speaker:Remember, you're in the driver's seat.
Speaker:It's not worth getting too hung up on which framework you use
Speaker:since each will have virtues and drawbacks.
Speaker:Rather, it matters how you're using a framework
Speaker:and whether it's doing the job you want it to do.
Speaker:Is it making it easier for you to travel from point A to point B?
Speaker:It's better to use a framework you like,
Speaker:but it is infinitely preferable to use a flawed framework
Speaker:than to have no framework.
Speaker:Why not create one yourself?
Speaker:To grow and evolve, we need only self-awareness,
Speaker:a clear perception of possibilities and obstacles,
Speaker:tools that work, and a practical, action-based plan
Speaker:to create the world we want to create.
Speaker:Exactly how we negotiate the details will depend heavily on who we are
Speaker:and what we're trying to achieve,
Speaker:and this is precisely the theme of our next chapter.
Speaker:Summary
Speaker:A coach facilitates our growth process,
Speaker:but that doesn't mean we cannot coach ourselves.
Speaker:With self-awareness, a framework for change,
Speaker:the right tools, and the ability to be objective about our progress,
Speaker:we can help ourselves achieve our goals.
Speaker:Change occurs when we move from point A to point B.
Speaker:There are many ways to cover that distance,
Speaker:but you'll need a framework to help you organize yourself.
Speaker:One useful model of change is the coaching model called grow,
Speaker:in which the letters spell goals.
Speaker:What do I want?
Speaker:Reality.
Speaker:What's happening right now?
Speaker:Options.
Speaker:What could I do?
Speaker:And will.
Speaker:What will I do?
Speaker:We'll look at these essential steps repeated all throughout the remainder of the book.
Speaker:Another model is the outcome frame model,
Speaker:which asks us to take concrete steps toward achieving our desired state,
Speaker:i.e. goal.
Speaker:Step one, identify what you want,
Speaker:define your desired state.
Speaker:We identify what we want,
Speaker:and understand the benefits of that change
Speaker:and the criteria for measuring its success.
Speaker:We also consider all the obstacles to achieving this goal
Speaker:and iron out the exact details and context.
Speaker:Finally, we end in a comparable way to the grow model.
Speaker:We take concrete action.
Speaker:There is no right or wrong framework,
Speaker:but the grow model may work better for professional or external goals,
Speaker:whereas the outcome frame model may be better for more personal or relationship goals.
Speaker:This has been the art of self-coaching,
Speaker:how to understand, grow, learn, and thrive.
Speaker:Written by Nick Trenton, narrated by Russell Newton.
Speaker:Copyright 2022 by Nick Trenton.
Speaker:Production copyright by Nick Trenton.
