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5 Powerful Techniques to Stop Anxiety & Overthinking (From "Anxiety is the Enemy")
00:00:54 GUIDED IMAGERY.
00:06:36 METAPHORIZE YOUR ANXIETY.
00:12:53 TALK ABOUT YOURSELF IN THIRD PERSON.
00:18:28 ROLE-PLAYING.
00:25:11 HAVE AN ALTER EGO.
Anxiety is the Enemy: 29 Techniques to Combat Overthinking, Stress,
Panic, and Pressure (Mental and Emotional Abundance Book 16) By: Nick
Trenton
Hear it Here - https://adbl.co/3xpRccv
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0B1C9T3SR
Feeling overwhelmed by constant worry and negative thoughts? You're not
alone! Anxiety is a major struggle for many people, but there's hope!
In this video, we'll dive into Chapter 4 of Nick Trenton's acclaimed
book "Anxiety is the Enemy" and explore 5 powerful techniques that can
help you silence your inner critic and overcome anxiety:
The First Step is Seeing It: Learn to identify the patterns of your
anxiety and take control of your thoughts.
Guided Imagery: Discover how visualization can create a peaceful
haven for your mind and body.
Metaphorize Your Anxiety: Turn your anxiety into a manageable image
and watch it shrink in your mind's eye.
Talk About Yourself in Third Person: Gain a new perspective and
distance yourself from negative self-talk.
Role-Playing & Alter Ego: Step into a confident persona and
learn to act "as if" anxiety doesn't exist.
Transcript
Anxiety is the Enemy:
Speaker:29 Techniques to Combat Overthinking,
Speaker:Stress,
Speaker:Panic,
Speaker:and Pressure (Mental and Emotional Abundance Book 16)
Speaker:Written by
Speaker:Nick Trenton
Speaker:Narrated by Russell Newton.
Speaker:The thing about “seeing” it in
Speaker:visualization is that you are already
Speaker:an expert at it!
Speaker:When you stress and ruminate and worry,
Speaker:visualization is exactly what you’re
Speaker:doing.
Speaker:You are creating distressing mental
Speaker:pictures that then cause an adverse
Speaker:reaction in your body.
Speaker:So,
Speaker:why not use this ability your brain
Speaker:already possesses and put it to better
Speaker:use?
Speaker:In this chapter,
Speaker:we’re looking at scientifically
Speaker:proven ways to use the power of your
Speaker:imagination to calm anxiety,
Speaker:gain psychological distance,
Speaker:and learn to exteriorize your
Speaker:experience.
Speaker:20.
Speaker:GUIDED IMAGERY .
Speaker:Guided imagery is a straightforward
Speaker:stress management tool that helps you
Speaker:relax.
Speaker:You simply imagine,
Speaker:in vivid detail,
Speaker:peaceful settings or situations.
Speaker:Right now,
Speaker:try to think of a super sour lemon in
Speaker:great detail.
Speaker:Imagine yourself biting into one.
Speaker:Do this for long enough and you’ll
Speaker:start to salivate!
Speaker:It’s the same with guided imagery.
Speaker:When it comes to stress and relaxation,
Speaker:your brain cannot tell the difference
Speaker:between imagined and real.
Speaker:So when you imagine peaceful things,
Speaker:your body responds physically and
Speaker:releases feel-good hormones.
Speaker:This is why guided imagery has been
Speaker:associated with reduced stress and
Speaker:better relaxation.
Speaker:A study published in 2014 (Menzies et.
Speaker:al.,
Speaker:Journal of Behavioral Medicine)
Speaker:took women suffering from fibromyalgia
Speaker:and put them into two groups.
Speaker:One group did guided imagery exercises
Speaker:every day for ten weeks,
Speaker:while the other group didn’t.
Speaker:At the end of the ten-week period,
Speaker:the women who did the guided imagery
Speaker:reported significant drops in their
Speaker:pain,
Speaker:stress,
Speaker:fatigue,
Speaker:and depression levels.
Speaker:Another study (Patricolo et. al.,
Speaker:2017)
Speaker:did something similar,
Speaker:but compared the effects of guided
Speaker:imagery with those of clinical massage.
Speaker:The participants were patients in a
Speaker:progressive care unit.
Speaker:The results?
Speaker:Thirty minutes of guided imagery had
Speaker:the same effect on the participants as
Speaker:fifteen minutes of therapeutic massage.
Speaker:Guided imagery has also been shown to
Speaker:reduce pain,
Speaker:improve sleep quality,
Speaker:relieve fatigue,
Speaker:and improve depression.
Speaker:Practicing guided imagery is easy,
Speaker:and there are so many ways to do it.
Speaker:You can try it when you wake up,
Speaker:before you sleep,
Speaker:or as part of a yoga practice or
Speaker:meditation session.
Speaker:You can use an audio recording or app
Speaker:to help you,
Speaker:make your own recording,
Speaker:or be creative and guide yourself.
Speaker:Take a look at YouTube or download one
Speaker:of the countless apps now available.
Speaker:The general process goes as follows -
Speaker:•Sit somewhere quiet and get
Speaker:comfortable.
Speaker:Close your eyes and relax your
Speaker:breathing.
Speaker:•You could start with any breathing
Speaker:exercise you like or do a little
Speaker:stretching to loosen your muscles.
Speaker:•Now,
Speaker:in your mind’s eye,
Speaker:take the time to imagine a peaceful,
Speaker:relaxing place.
Speaker:Your imagination is the limit - you
Speaker:could visualize an epic and serene
Speaker:mountain range in the snow,
Speaker:a heavenly garden with a palace made of
Speaker:crystal at its center,
Speaker:or a cozy library with a warm crackling
Speaker:fire in the corner.
Speaker:You could also think of a place from
Speaker:your memory.
Speaker:•Now,
Speaker:don’t rush.
Speaker:In as vivid detail as possible,
Speaker:imagine all the elements of this scene
Speaker:using all five senses.
Speaker:The smell of the sea breeze.
Speaker:The sound of children laughing.
Speaker:The sight of sunlight glittering
Speaker:through the tops of the trees
Speaker:...Don’t forget to imagine how you
Speaker:feel in this place,
Speaker:too.
Speaker:What are you wearing?
Speaker:What are you doing and thinking?
Speaker:•How you interact with this scene is
Speaker:up to you.
Speaker:You can walk through a path you create
Speaker:in your imagination,
Speaker:or simply imagine yourself at the
Speaker:center of a tranquil picture and notice
Speaker:what comes and goes.
Speaker:Some people imagine an enormous healing
Speaker:pool with a stone staircase that lowers
Speaker:you step by step into the magical water.
Speaker:Others imagine a stately museum that
Speaker:they browse through room by room.
Speaker:•As you sink into your visualization,
Speaker:keep your breathing slow and regular
Speaker:and let go of any ideas of what you
Speaker:should be doing.
Speaker:Your only goal is to indulge in the
Speaker:relaxation you are creating for
Speaker:yourself.
Speaker:•When you’re done,
Speaker:take a deep breath,
Speaker:stretch,
Speaker:and open your eyes.
Speaker:As you can see,
Speaker:there’s plenty of leeway for you to
Speaker:make guided imagery your own.
Speaker:It’s a good idea,
Speaker:though,
Speaker:to make sure you won’t be disturbed
Speaker:(i.e.,
Speaker:turn your phone to silent!)
Speaker:and wear comfy clothing.
Speaker:If imagining scenes is difficult at
Speaker:first,
Speaker:don’t worry—you will get better
Speaker:with practice.
Speaker:You may find it helpful to first study
Speaker:images and photographs of gorgeous
Speaker:locations.
Speaker:Then close your eyes and imagine
Speaker:you’re really there.
Speaker:What else can you see when you explore
Speaker:just outside the frame?
Speaker:You can use audio recordings and
Speaker:prompts at first,
Speaker:but you may find you’re able to go
Speaker:deeper once you take your time and
Speaker:create your own mental image.
Speaker:One great thing to do is create a
Speaker:mental sanctuary that you can
Speaker:repeatedly return to.
Speaker:In a way,
Speaker:this place acts like a “mental
Speaker:anchor” as we explored earlier.
Speaker:Your body and mind come to associate
Speaker:this place with deep relaxation.
Speaker:Every time you “visit,” you can add
Speaker:another little detail.
Speaker:Why not combine mantras with your
Speaker:imagery?
Speaker:This way,
Speaker:even if you don’t have time to go
Speaker:into a full visualization session,
Speaker:you can evoke some of the associated
Speaker:emotions just by reciting your mantra.
Speaker:For example,
Speaker:in a stressful moment during the day,
Speaker:you can close your eyes,
Speaker:take a deep breath,
Speaker:and say,
Speaker:“Cool wet grass,” to remind you of
Speaker:your inner safe space.
Speaker:It’s amazing how suggestible your
Speaker:brain can be,
Speaker:and how quickly you can change your
Speaker:emotional state!
Speaker:21.
Speaker:METAPHORIZE YOUR ANXIETY. .
Speaker:One way to improve your relationship
Speaker:with anxiety is through metaphors.
Speaker:When we use metaphors,
Speaker:we gain psychological distance between
Speaker:us and what’s bothering us.
Speaker:We become observers of our feelings
Speaker:rather than slaves to them.
Speaker:Your brain really is an amazing organ,
Speaker:and with a little prompting,
Speaker:you can use it to completely reshape
Speaker:your experience and the relationship
Speaker:you have with your anxiety.
Speaker:In fact,
Speaker:the idea of having a “relationship
Speaker:with anxiety” is itself a metaphor!
Speaker:It’s a metaphor that helps you see
Speaker:anxiety as something that can be
Speaker:understood and collaborated with.
Speaker:Metaphors can help us see new
Speaker:perspectives.
Speaker:Here are a few more useful ones -
Speaker:Clouds in the sky.
Speaker:The Buddhist conception of anxiety (and
Speaker:all sensation and thought)
Speaker:is that they are like clouds moving
Speaker:across a sky.
Speaker:We are the sky—blue,
Speaker:depthless,
Speaker:eternal.
Speaker:But the weather is always changing.
Speaker:It comes,
Speaker:it goes.
Speaker:Anxiety is like this.
Speaker:It comes and it goes.
Speaker:When we explore this metaphor,
Speaker:we start to see anxiety not as a
Speaker:problem to solve but as something as
Speaker:harmless and fleeting as passing clouds.
Speaker:Do you get angry at clouds?
Speaker:Do you fight against them or twist
Speaker:yourself into a knot figuring out how
Speaker:to “solve” them?
Speaker:They don’t need to be solved.
Speaker:They come,
Speaker:and then they go.
Speaker:New perspective - Even if right now you
Speaker:are anxious,
Speaker:it doesn’t mean you always will be.
Speaker:You can embrace what is.
Speaker:You don’t have to fight with it.
Speaker:Waves in the ocean.
Speaker:Founder of Mindfulness Based Stress
Speaker:Reduction (MBSR)
Speaker:Jon Kabat-Zinn once said,
Speaker:“You can’t stop the waves,
Speaker:but you can learn to surf."
Speaker:New perspective - We can’t control
Speaker:anxiety.
Speaker:But we can roll with it.
Speaker:We are able to cope with anything that
Speaker:comes our way.
Speaker:Trains on a platform.
Speaker:You are the station,
Speaker:and thoughts arrive as trains,
Speaker:each one taking you to a different
Speaker:destination.
Speaker:There are a lot of trains,
Speaker:and the chaos and noise can be
Speaker:overwhelming,
Speaker:but remember - you only have to board
Speaker:one at a time,
Speaker:and you can choose which train you hop
Speaker:on.
Speaker:New perspective - Just because a
Speaker:thought is there doesn’t mean I have
Speaker:to “board” it and follow where it
Speaker:goes.
Speaker:I can watch it come and leave the
Speaker:station without me on it!
Speaker:A grumpy two-year-old.
Speaker:Your anxiety isn’t a fearsome demon
Speaker:set out to torture you for all eternity.
Speaker:It’s just an annoying but completely
Speaker:manageable two-year-old who will calm
Speaker:down eventually.
Speaker:You can’t ignore a tantrum,
Speaker:but you know that getting upset won’t
Speaker:fix anything.
Speaker:Just talk kindly and patiently with the
Speaker:two-year-old and wait for the drama to
Speaker:pass.
Speaker:Forgive the anxiety—it’s just
Speaker:afraid and overwhelmed.
Speaker:It’s doing its best.
Speaker:Whenever your brain starts getting
Speaker:carried away with “what if”
Speaker:thoughts,
Speaker:understand that you are occupying a
Speaker:particular perspective.
Speaker:Change that perspective a little and
Speaker:things won’t seem as threatening.
Speaker:You could imagine your anxiety as a
Speaker:tornado (crazy on the inside but
Speaker:relatively calm if you just step out of
Speaker:the center)
Speaker:or a box of worries that you can open
Speaker:at will or store away somewhere safe
Speaker:when you’re tired of worrying.
Speaker:You could imagine that you have a soul
Speaker:bank account filled with life units,
Speaker:and every time you worry,
Speaker:you spend one unit of life that you
Speaker:could have spent on something that
Speaker:could make you happy instead.
Speaker:Whichever metaphor you go with,
Speaker:it should be something that really
Speaker:speaks to you in a meaningful way.
Speaker:When you notice yourself drifting off
Speaker:into a “sea of anxiety,” call up
Speaker:the image of waves (or ripples in a
Speaker:pond?).
Speaker:When you notice that critical and
Speaker:negative self-talk dominating your
Speaker:thoughts,
Speaker:imagine a little dial that you can turn
Speaker:to lower the volume so you can hear the
Speaker:rest of life.
Speaker:Try the “leaves on a stream
Speaker:exercise” One potent
Speaker:visualization/metaphor exercise is
Speaker:called “leaves on a stream."
Speaker:This is a “cognitive defusion”
Speaker:technique that is used in A. C. T.
Speaker:—Action Commitment Therapy—and is
Speaker:designed to help you get distance from
Speaker:uncomfortable or overwhelming feelings.
Speaker:The shift in perspective is similar to
Speaker:the one we achieve when we metaphorize
Speaker:our anxiety - we realize,
Speaker:“I am having thoughts,
Speaker:but I am not my thoughts."
Speaker:Here's how to do this simple practice.
Speaker:•First,
Speaker:sit comfortably somewhere you won’t
Speaker:be disturbed,
Speaker:breathing deeply (you know the drill!).
Speaker:•Next,
Speaker:picture yourself sitting beside a
Speaker:tranquil flowing stream.
Speaker:In this stream are some fallen leaves
Speaker:peacefully floating by ...
Speaker:•As a thought pops into your mind,
Speaker:see it there,
Speaker:pick it up,
Speaker:and place it gently onto a passing leaf.
Speaker:Watch it float by out of your field of
Speaker:vision as the stream flows on.
Speaker:•Do this with ALL your thoughts.
Speaker:Stressful,
Speaker:neutral,
Speaker:blissful.
Speaker:Put them all on the leaves and watch
Speaker:them go.
Speaker:Now,
Speaker:you’re not trying to dispose of
Speaker:thoughts or get rid of them.
Speaker:You’re not rushing the stream along
Speaker:or trying to slow it.
Speaker:If you have a thought like,
Speaker:“This stream exercise is dumb,”
Speaker:then simply pick that up,
Speaker:too,
Speaker:and put it on a leaf.
Speaker:If you think,
Speaker:“I’m really doing well with
Speaker:this,” then yes,
Speaker:you guessed it,
Speaker:put it on a leaf too.
Speaker:Easy.
Speaker:If your mind wanders and you get
Speaker:sidetracked,
Speaker:it’s no big deal.
Speaker:Just come back to your task with the
Speaker:leaves and carry on without admonishing
Speaker:yourself or feeling bad.
Speaker:22.
Speaker:TALK ABOUT YOURSELF IN THIRD PERSON. .
Speaker:Why does talking to other people about
Speaker:our worries make us feel better?
Speaker:Even if the problem isn’t solved,
Speaker:we still feel some relief.
Speaker:What helps may simply be the fact that
Speaker:talking about our problems is a way to
Speaker:externalize and abstract our worry,
Speaker:putting some distance between it and
Speaker:ourselves.
Speaker:The great thing is,
Speaker:though,
Speaker:that you don’t have to literally talk
Speaker:to a friend to experience these
Speaker:benefits.
Speaker:If you can learn to talk about yourself
Speaker:in third person,
Speaker:you still achieve that sense of
Speaker:distance and objectivity.
Speaker:This is yet another way we can switch
Speaker:perspective and gain some relief from
Speaker:rumination and worry.
Speaker:What happens when you switch your point
Speaker:of view and think of yourself as a
Speaker:friend would think of you?
Speaker:What would happen if you spoke to
Speaker:yourself as if you were speaking to
Speaker:someone you knew (who had your name and
Speaker:all your problems)
Speaker:and who was asking for your help and
Speaker:advice?
Speaker:A study published in 2017 in Scientific
Speaker:Reports by professor of psychology
Speaker:Jason Moser and his colleagues asked
Speaker:these very questions.
Speaker:The researchers found that talking
Speaker:about yourself as though you were
Speaker:someone else can help you relieve
Speaker:strong negative emotions.
Speaker:All you have to do is stop using
Speaker:“I” statements and instead use
Speaker:“he,” “she,” or “you."
Speaker:So,
Speaker:instead of saying,
Speaker:“I’m having a panic attack,” you
Speaker:say,
Speaker:“She’s having a panic attack,”
Speaker:or,
Speaker:“Anna is having a panic attack."
Speaker:It doesn’t seem like that big of a
Speaker:deal,
Speaker:but Moser’s research shows that when
Speaker:people do this,
Speaker:they self-report lower levels of
Speaker:anxiety.
Speaker:Again,
Speaker:we see the power of psychological
Speaker:distance.
Speaker:“By using your own name,
Speaker:and possibly also second-person
Speaker:pronouns,
Speaker:it creates this little separation from
Speaker:the self.
Speaker:It makes you think about your feelings
Speaker:and thoughts like you’re looking at
Speaker:somebody else’s experience,” says
Speaker:Moser.
Speaker:One experiment went like this.
Speaker:Participants looked at stock images and
Speaker:videos from upsetting news stories,
Speaker:then were asked to think about what
Speaker:they saw,
Speaker:first using the first-person point of
Speaker:view (“I was saddened”)
Speaker:and then using third person (“Jay
Speaker:thought this was sad”).
Speaker:Simply by using their own names to talk
Speaker:about themselves,
Speaker:the participants showed more activity
Speaker:in the parts of the brain associated
Speaker:with emotional regulation.
Speaker:The emotion is still there,
Speaker:of course.
Speaker:It’s just not as close.
Speaker:What’s more,
Speaker:using third person takes no more effort
Speaker:than using first person,
Speaker:so it’s a great tool to use on the
Speaker:spot when you’re feeling overwhelmed.
Speaker:Imagine you’ve just heard some very
Speaker:stressful news—a family member has
Speaker:had a serious car accident and is in
Speaker:the hospital,
Speaker:and you’ve had a panicky phone call
Speaker:from your mother.
Speaker:Your head suddenly explodes into dozens
Speaker:of different thoughts,
Speaker:and you’re instantly overwhelmed.
Speaker:You know you should probably ask your
Speaker:boss if you can take some time off work
Speaker:so you can head over to the ER and do
Speaker:what you can,
Speaker:but you notice yourself quickly getting
Speaker:strung out as you start to panic,
Speaker:too.
Speaker:“What if I’m so stressed that I
Speaker:have a car accident on the way over?
Speaker:What if I get there too late and
Speaker:everyone is disappointed in me?
Speaker:What if my boss gets unhappy about me
Speaker:taking time off?
Speaker:What am I going to do?!"
Speaker:Instead,
Speaker:ask yourself,
Speaker:“What is Michael going to do?"
Speaker:Can you instantly see how this takes so
Speaker:much of the panic out of the equation?
Speaker:It’s as though you are looking at a
Speaker:movie of yourself from the outside in.
Speaker:Suddenly the stakes aren’t as high.
Speaker:You can see a solution or a way forward.
Speaker:Psychology professor Ethan Kross,
Speaker:who is also director at the Emotion and
Speaker:Self Control Lab,
Speaker:conducted a similar experiment.
Speaker:He asked participants to think about
Speaker:upsetting memories from the past,
Speaker:but to do so using third-person
Speaker:language.
Speaker:While they did this,
Speaker:their brain activity was examined using
Speaker:fMRI. They showed reduced activity in
Speaker:the parts of the brain we know are
Speaker:connected to the experience of pain.
Speaker:In other words,
Speaker:Kross found evidence that talking about
Speaker:painful memories in the third person
Speaker:reduces how painful they feel.
Speaker:“What’s really exciting here is
Speaker:that [ ...] third-person self-talk may
Speaker:constitute a relatively effortless form
Speaker:of emotion regulation.
Speaker:If this ends up being true—we won’t
Speaker:know until more research is
Speaker:done—there are lots of important
Speaker:implications these findings have for
Speaker:our basic understanding of how
Speaker:self-control works,
Speaker:and for how to help people control
Speaker:their emotions in daily life,” Kross
Speaker:said.
Speaker:We don’t have to wait for further
Speaker:research to be done,
Speaker:however,
Speaker:to get some benefit from making small
Speaker:tweaks to our language.
Speaker:Of course,
Speaker:you don’t have to speak like this
Speaker:permanently.
Speaker:Rather,
Speaker:use the third-person trick to defuse
Speaker:especially stressful moments and take
Speaker:the edge off.
Speaker:You only need to do it long enough to
Speaker:gain some distance.
Speaker:Just momentarily take on a different
Speaker:perspective and see if that releases
Speaker:some of the tension.
Speaker:From there,
Speaker:you can take action or choose to let
Speaker:your worry go.
Speaker:23.
Speaker:ROLE-PLAYING. .
Speaker:You’re probably familiar with
Speaker:role-playing in general,
Speaker:but did you know that role-playing is a
Speaker:useful tool when it comes to managing
Speaker:anxiety?
Speaker:You can use role-play to rehearse and
Speaker:prepare for difficult conversations or
Speaker:situations.
Speaker:When you role-play,
Speaker:you are exploring potential ways of
Speaker:behaving,
Speaker:finding new approaches and
Speaker:perspectives,
Speaker:and accessing new insights—all while
Speaker:staying in control.
Speaker:Role-playing can also be combined with
Speaker:many of the other approaches we’ve
Speaker:looked at—like naming how you feel,
Speaker:gaining distance by using third-person
Speaker:language,
Speaker:and being more self-aware.
Speaker:How can we use role-play to help with
Speaker:stress and tension?
Speaker:First,
Speaker:identify a situation that’s causing
Speaker:some anxiety for you.
Speaker:Let’s say you’re ruminating over a
Speaker:difficult conversation you need to have
Speaker:with a family member.
Speaker:Now,
Speaker:instead of endlessly turning the
Speaker:problem over in your head and causing
Speaker:stress,
Speaker:try to make the issue concrete—play
Speaker:out the possible conversation and see
Speaker:what happens.
Speaker:Maybe you enlist the help of a trusted
Speaker:friend or even a therapist.
Speaker:You sit together and try to make the
Speaker:situation feel as real as possible.
Speaker:Assign the roles you’ll each play.
Speaker:For example,
Speaker:if you wanted to clarify your thoughts
Speaker:and squash nervousness,
Speaker:you could play yourself and they could
Speaker:play the family member.
Speaker:Then you could practice the
Speaker:conversation.
Speaker:If you reverse this order,
Speaker:however,
Speaker:you might see different sides to the
Speaker:story and gain fresh insight and
Speaker:empathy into how the family member
Speaker:might be feeling.
Speaker:Act out the conversation.
Speaker:Notice any anxiety or nerves.
Speaker:Notice how you feel afterward.
Speaker:Notice if anything changes after you
Speaker:start talking and once the conversation
Speaker:is finished.
Speaker:Is there some aspect of the issue you
Speaker:hadn’t considered before?
Speaker:Even though role-playing this way can
Speaker:feel awkward to start with,
Speaker:it’s actually a brilliant way to
Speaker:turbo-charge your communication skills.
Speaker:There are many ways to use role-playing
Speaker:when it comes to overthinking and
Speaker:rumination -
Speaker:•You could rehearse a job interview.
Speaker:•You could practice staying calm and
Speaker:focused during conversations where
Speaker:there may be some conflict to
Speaker:resolve—for example,
Speaker:during a meeting with an angry client.
Speaker:•You could rehearse a
Speaker:“performance,” whether that’s
Speaker:literally on a stage or a presentation
Speaker:at work,
Speaker:a wedding speech or a first date.
Speaker:Being prepared in advance will help you
Speaker:feel confident in yourself.
Speaker:•You could use role-playing to help
Speaker:you better understand a social
Speaker:situation,
Speaker:testing out possible outcomes and
Speaker:seeing how you’ll react.
Speaker:Role-playing can boost empathy and help
Speaker:you get into other people’s heads.
Speaker:•You could use role-play to
Speaker:desensitize yourself to fears and
Speaker:phobias.
Speaker:For example,
Speaker:those with social anxiety can practice
Speaker:small talk and introducing themselves,
Speaker:even “rewinding” and trying
Speaker:different tactics to get a feel for it
Speaker:in a safe and low-stakes way.
Speaker:Often,
Speaker:anxiety grows in the face of the
Speaker:unknown.
Speaker:But when you role-play,
Speaker:you are actively grappling with that
Speaker:unknown.
Speaker:You take your fears and worries and put
Speaker:them outside your head where you can
Speaker:work on them productively.
Speaker:You can take the stress-inducing
Speaker:“what if” statements and literally
Speaker:try them out.
Speaker:When you’re anxious,
Speaker:your brain believes that something is
Speaker:more dangerous and threatening than it
Speaker:is.
Speaker:But with role-play,
Speaker:you can prove to yourself that the
Speaker:situation is actually manageable.
Speaker:Scared of monsters under the bed?
Speaker:Well,
Speaker:go with a friend and see for yourself
Speaker:if there’s anything there!
Speaker:One way to approach role-playing is to
Speaker:start with a fear or threat.
Speaker:What scares or overwhelms you?
Speaker:Maybe you say “germs” or “busy
Speaker:social situations."
Speaker:Next,
Speaker:think of your current behavior and
Speaker:attitude,
Speaker:then imagine a new behavior or mindset
Speaker:that you’d like to practice.
Speaker:For example,
Speaker:you’d like to be more comfortable and
Speaker:relaxed around meeting new people at
Speaker:parties.
Speaker:Now,
Speaker:think of ways to recreate this
Speaker:“threatening” situation.
Speaker:With a therapist or friend (pick one
Speaker:who is good at acting!),
Speaker:run through some potentially stressful
Speaker:situations.
Speaker:Maybe you most hate those first few
Speaker:moments when you meet someone new and
Speaker:you’re struggling to think of what to
Speaker:say.
Speaker:So,
Speaker:practice that over and over.
Speaker:Have the other person pretend to be a
Speaker:stranger and meet them,
Speaker:trying out this new behavior you want
Speaker:to learn.
Speaker:Don’t worry about making
Speaker:mistakes—in fact,
Speaker:messing things up and seeing that
Speaker:it’s not the end of the world is all
Speaker:part of it!
Speaker:Think of it as teaching yourself that
Speaker:the threat is not a threat after all.
Speaker:Gradually dial up the intensity.
Speaker:Once you’re feeling confident in
Speaker:small talk from a cold start,
Speaker:see what it’s like to talk to someone
Speaker:who is actively rude or uninterested.
Speaker:You may find that with enough practice,
Speaker:you actually start enjoying yourself.
Speaker:If you can start to see it all as a
Speaker:game,
Speaker:you know that the role-playing is
Speaker:working!
Speaker:Naturally,
Speaker:not every anxiety or worry is going to
Speaker:translate into a role-play exercise.
Speaker:And let’s be honest,
Speaker:many of us won’t have someone we can
Speaker:practice with.
Speaker:But that doesn’t mean you can’t
Speaker:still benefit from this approach!
Speaker:Simply try mentally rehearsing a
Speaker:certain situation.
Speaker:Walk your brain step by step through a
Speaker:threatening scenario and practice what
Speaker:you say,
Speaker:what you feel,
Speaker:what you do,
Speaker:and what you think.
Speaker:If you like,
Speaker:you can mix things up,
Speaker:too.
Speaker:Try to mentally rehearse the roles of
Speaker:other people in a scenario and see if
Speaker:that perspective shift shines new light
Speaker:on the problem.
Speaker:Or get abstract and role-play with your
Speaker:anxiety itself.
Speaker:Imagine it’s sitting in a chair in
Speaker:front of you and literally talk to it.
Speaker:“Anxiety,
Speaker:what are you trying to achieve here?
Speaker:What are you worried about?"
Speaker:Make friends and try to come to a
Speaker:compromise.
Speaker:Sounds cheesy,
Speaker:but when you take the role of your own
Speaker:ultra-wise mentor/therapist,
Speaker:you’d be surprised at what you’re
Speaker:capable of!
Speaker:24.
Speaker:HAVE AN ALTER EGO. .
Speaker:Kids who were instructed to imagine
Speaker:that they were Batman ended up having
Speaker:greater perseverance in a difficult
Speaker:task than kids who didn’t.
Speaker:That’s the finding of a fascinating
Speaker:2016 study conducted by White et. al.
Speaker:at the University of Minnesota.
Speaker:Coining this phenomenon “the Batman
Speaker:effect,” the researchers noted that
Speaker:merely pretending you are someone who
Speaker:is brave,
Speaker:capable,
Speaker:and strong can actually make you
Speaker:perform better.
Speaker:The idea is that if you can take on the
Speaker:perspective of someone who is stronger
Speaker:and more proficient than yourself,
Speaker:then you literally allow yourself to
Speaker:reflect on a challenge in an entirely
Speaker:different way.
Speaker:Again,
Speaker:we see the power of creating
Speaker:psychological distance.
Speaker:If you can imagine how a person other
Speaker:than you would respond in a situation,
Speaker:you give yourself access to that same
Speaker:response.
Speaker:In the study,
Speaker:the researchers asked kids who were
Speaker:four to six years old to do a task for
Speaker:ten minutes.
Speaker:They were also offered the chance to
Speaker:break up this task with an appealing
Speaker:video game.
Speaker:The kids who were told to simulate a
Speaker:strong role model actually ended up
Speaker:working harder and longer on the task
Speaker:than other kids.
Speaker:In this experiment,
Speaker:the other groups were told to take a
Speaker:third-person perspective (“Johnny is
Speaker:trying to figure out this puzzle”)
Speaker:or an ordinary first-person perspective.
Speaker:The study showed us that a mental role
Speaker:model could help children with
Speaker:self-discipline,
Speaker:focus,
Speaker:and perseverance.
Speaker:But it can also help adults emulate
Speaker:other characteristics they are trying
Speaker:to develop.
Speaker:Many famous musicians and performers
Speaker:have such an alter ego - even if they
Speaker:have stage fright and low
Speaker:self-confidence,
Speaker:their alter ego doesn’t.
Speaker:When on stage,
Speaker:they do what their alter ego would do.
Speaker:Beyonce is said to use her alter ego
Speaker:(called “Sasha”)
Speaker:to help her be what she wants to be on
Speaker:stage.
Speaker:If we think of anxiety as a pattern of
Speaker:thought and behavior,
Speaker:we can think of alter egos as a way to
Speaker:“try on” a completely different
Speaker:pattern.
Speaker:It’s difficult to step out of your
Speaker:own character at times,
Speaker:but it’s easy to imagine another
Speaker:character.
Speaker:Think about a person who is relaxed,
Speaker:confident,
Speaker:and easy going.
Speaker:Imagine what a strong,
Speaker:self-assured,
Speaker:and in-control person thinks,
Speaker:says,
Speaker:and does.
Speaker:They may be a real person,
Speaker:a fictional character,
Speaker:or an imaginary person of your own
Speaker:creation.
Speaker:The next time you’re feeling anxious
Speaker:or overwhelmed,
Speaker:set your own ego aside for a moment and
Speaker:look at the situation from your alter
Speaker:ego’s perspective.
Speaker:Do you remember the “What Would Jesus
Speaker:Do?” bangles that were popular in the
Speaker:90s?
Speaker:The same principle applies.
Speaker:Granted,
Speaker:you might not always feel up to being
Speaker:as brave or relaxed as your alter ego,
Speaker:but the point is to at least entertain
Speaker:that perspective.
Speaker:The more you identify with that alter
Speaker:ego,
Speaker:the more you close the gap between how
Speaker:you are now and how you’d like to be.
Speaker:Let’s recap some simple steps to
Speaker:unlocking the “Batman effect” for
Speaker:yourself - 1.
Speaker:Think of something in yourself you’d
Speaker:like to work on—for example,
Speaker:your pessimistic self-talk or tendency
Speaker:to catastrophize.
Speaker:2.
Speaker:Now,
Speaker:invert this.
Speaker:What does the opposite look like?
Speaker:You might decide it’s a person who
Speaker:consistently and cheerfully assumes the
Speaker:best and always sees the silver lining.
Speaker:3.
Speaker:Now construct an alter ego who
Speaker:possesses this characteristic in
Speaker:buckets.
Speaker:They could have other characteristics,
Speaker:too,
Speaker:or you might like to have a different
Speaker:alter ego for each characteristic.
Speaker:You could flesh them out by giving them
Speaker:a name,
Speaker:an appearance,
Speaker:and so on.
Speaker:Have fun with it.
Speaker:Maybe you’re socially anxious and
Speaker:your confident and popular alter ego is
Speaker:called “Catherine the Great."
Speaker:4.
Speaker:The next time you’re facing any
Speaker:challenge or obstacle,
Speaker:ask what your alter ego would do.
Speaker:What would they feel in this situation?
Speaker:Really dwell in their perspective.
Speaker:Then do what they’d do.
Speaker:Here’s how that might look.
Speaker:Let’s say you are someone who
Speaker:constantly overthinks things.
Speaker:You decide you’d like to tackle your
Speaker:tendency to stew over minor details and
Speaker:make yourself stressed.
Speaker:You turn this tendency upside down and
Speaker:imagine an alter ego who is
Speaker:happy-go-lucky,
Speaker:calm,
Speaker:confident,
Speaker:and doesn’t take things too seriously.
Speaker:This alter ego is a blend of someone
Speaker:you once knew and admired,
Speaker:a fictional character you read about in
Speaker:a book,
Speaker:and someone entirely made up.
Speaker:You call this person Eddie (because
Speaker:he’s a bit like Eddie Murphy)
Speaker:and flesh out how he looks and acts.
Speaker:He’s always smiling,
Speaker:and he likes to go with the flow,
Speaker:have fun,
Speaker:and see what happens.
Speaker:One day you’re planning a vacation
Speaker:and you notice your overthinking,
Speaker:stressed-out self appearing.
Speaker:You stop and think,
Speaker:what would Eddie do?
Speaker:Actually,
Speaker:Eddie would laugh at all this planning.
Speaker:Why so serious?
Speaker:Half the fun is going and figuring out
Speaker:what you want to do on the fly,
Speaker:right?
Speaker:Live life.
Speaker:Be a little spontaneous.
Speaker:Through Eddie’s eyes,
Speaker:your nine-page-long Excel itinerary
Speaker:looks a little silly.
Speaker:You laugh at yourself,
Speaker:and when you next think about your
Speaker:upcoming vacation,
Speaker:you speak in his voice as you tell
Speaker:yourself,
Speaker:“I don’t know what we’re doing
Speaker:when we get there ...but it’ll be fun
Speaker:finding out!"
Speaker:Summary -
Speaker:•The imagination is a powerful thing
Speaker:and can be put to use to help combat
Speaker:anxiety and quell overthinking.
Speaker:Guided imagery,
Speaker:for example,
Speaker:is a great way to imagine a peaceful
Speaker:scenario in enough detail that our body
Speaker:responds by relaxing.
Speaker:•Another effective stress management
Speaker:technique is to use metaphors to help
Speaker:you alter your relationship to anxiety
Speaker:and think of it in a different way.
Speaker:You could imagine that stress is like
Speaker:clouds passing by in the sky,
Speaker:passing trains,
Speaker:or a restless toddler.
Speaker:•You can also gain this psychological
Speaker:distance by talking about yourself and
Speaker:your anxiety in the third person (for
Speaker:example,
Speaker:“David is worried about this” when
Speaker:talking about yourself).
Speaker:•Role-play exercises are another way
Speaker:to use the power of visualizing.
Speaker:Literally act out and rehearse
Speaker:anxiety-provoking scenarios with a
Speaker:friend or therapist,
Speaker:or try to practice situations in your
Speaker:mind to de-sensitize you and help you
Speaker:feel more prepared and confident.
Speaker:•Finally,
Speaker:create an alter ego for yourself who
Speaker:possesses the opposite of some
Speaker:stressful characteristics you want to
Speaker:be free of.
Speaker:Flesh out this alter ego and allow
Speaker:yourself to take on their perspective
Speaker:as your own when you’re faced with a
Speaker:challenging or stressful situation.
Speaker:This has been
Speaker:Anxiety is the Enemy:
Speaker:29 Techniques to Combat Overthinking,
Speaker:Stress,
Speaker:Panic,
Speaker:and Pressure (Mental and Emotional Abundance Book 16) Written by
Speaker:Nick Trenton
Speaker:Narrated by Russell Newton.
